Bittersweet
by 7rabbits
Summary: A Shiznat fanfic. 5 years passed since Shizuru and Natsuki talked or see each other, living seperate lives. But after 5 years it seems the delayed crossover of their paths is about to happen. Rated M for some chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**THIS IS MY FIRST STORY , AND SEEMS IT WILL TAKE MANY CHAPTERS... HOPE YOU LIKE (thoughts in italic)  
**

* * *

_Three words. Three words to define myself huh? God these questioners are getting stupid by the month._

Natsuki was holding orange juice with vodka -more than the juice in one hand, and a magazine in the other, the pen standing idly in her mouth. It was a Sunday morning ritual.

_Bipolar, chain smoker, sex addict?_

That had reminded her the need she forget what it was. She let go of the vodka and reached for the little black metal plate that hold 6 cigarettes in them. She took one out and closed tightly between her lips.

''You know, I heard you shouldn't smoke at least for an hour if you want those vitamins from your orange juice,'' it was a sexy yet husky voice, evident of last night's loud talk due to the banging music at the club. Or perhaps the screams she had let out on the western black sheeted king sized bed just hours ago. Perhaps both.

Natsuki didn't even bother to put her head up to the owner of the voice.

''Get me the lighter will you?'' she replied still looking at the question in front of her.

_Annoying, alcoholic, sex addict? Jesus Christ why three and not four?! _

With the lack of movement around her, she knew the girl standing hadn't moved.

''It's not an orange juice, it's vodka. Now get me the lighter please?'' The please part didn't sound like a plead at all, but more like a demand. Natsuki tilted her head up after finishing her sentence and found the half naked blond girl not looking at her at all but to another magazine's cover lying on the glass table.

''I think she is damn hot.''

''I think not.''

The answer had come rather abrupt to Natsuki's own surprise. She was getting much and much better at lying herself let alone the world.

''Why not! I mean come on, I would kill for a body like hers. But I don't think it's the body its those eyes....''

Natsuki didn't hear the rest. Her mind had shut with the word _those eyes_.

''Natsuki. Natsukii...''

Natsuki could her the blond silhouette calling for her but her mind was still shut to the world. It was also shut to herself, since she wasn't particularly thinking about something. She wasn't thinking at all.

''Na-tsu-ki!''

With that call she jumped back to reality looking at the face of the caller.

''Don't you ever! Ever dare call me like that again!'' she shouted, her eyes wide in anger.

''Fuck, what's wrong with you. Alright...'' the blonde was shocked, and scared to see the figure in front of her burn in green anger.

''Just get out Suzuru! Out!'' Natsuki yelled, throwing the magazine away. She jumped up and walked outside of her villa towards the pool.

''Right now! Out!'' she yelled back, her gaze fixated on the sky, her grip on her cigarette tightened. She saw a lighter standing on the wood table and so she grabbed it quickly with her trembling hands. She could hear the other woman grabbing her stuff in a hurry.

''Whatever Lunatic! Give me a call when you get your shit together!'' the blond shouted back marching towards the grand door of the villa.

Natsuki never planned to call the blonde back anyways. She was just another rising model, Natsuki got under her pants.

Na-tsu-ki... The voice echoed in her head. She threw away the cigarette and threw herself as well, into the aqua blue of her pool. She trembled as the cold water hit her, but her mind slowly returning to it's normal course.

_Heartless, desperate, lost..._

Was the last thought in her mind. And she smiled when she had finally answered the first question.

* * *

''Hey Sexy. What the hell are you doing there?'' A warm voice called. And a giggle followed.

Mai Tokiha was looking at her crazy best friend who seemed very peaceful in the pool with her clothes on.

''Oh. Mai. Wanna join me?'' grinned Natsuki devilishly.

''However tempting it might be, I wouldn't wanna disturb you and your cigarette. When you're done playing, go get changed. We're meeting with the girls downtown.''

''Who is coming?'' Natsuki asked, now she was standing upright in the middle of the pool, waiting for Mai's answer.

''Well, Aoi, Yohko are all on board. Mikoto is back but she can't make it, so is Haruka and Yukino but they are coming. And guess who is making a surprise appearance?'' Mai said, her right brow raising.

''Who?'' the demand to know came right away.

''Our beloved Nao Yuuki.'' Mai answered, and turned her body, her head still looking at Natsuki.

''It will be interesting Na-chan. I'll be waiting at the Zoe's. Jane!'' Mai winked and left.

_Nao Yuuki. With exactly what gut is she coming. Doesn't she know that I'll be there. That cunning bitch!_

_She will talk about her... She will talk about her to my face as if she owns her... Fuck. So be it._

Natsuki jumped off the pool and reached for her cellphone.

''Hey gorgeous, its been a while...'' the voice on the other line greeted.

''A'dee. I need you. Are you free for couple of hours?'' right to the point.

''Well_** I am the**_ Japan's favorite model Natsuki. Do you really think I have any time for myself?''

''But you have for me, Japan's favorite model.''

''Touché. When are you picking me up?'' the woman gave a little laugh with her surrender.

''Be ready in half an hour.'' Natsuki was about to end the call when the other girl called for her.

''Oh Natsuki.''

''Yeah?''

''Do make it seem like a kidnap, like the last time...'' the woman said in the most sexy way.

Natsuki just grinned.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

''Hey! I asked for mocha! Not cappiano!'' Haruka snipped at the light headed waiter looking confused.

''It's cappuccino Haruka'' The glass eyed girl corrected.

''Thats what I said!'' Haruka gave her trademark answer.

''God I missed you two.'' Mai interrupted the exchange of glances between Yukino and Haruka, laughing out loud.

''How was the vacation? I see you guys got tanned. Looks good.'' Aoi sighed. Wishing she could spent 10 days in Italy as well.

Haruka blushed, trying very hard for none to notice. The images of warm Italian nights she spent with Yukino flashed her mind. And it seemed flashings wasn't going to stop. Damn that Yuki.

''We can clearly say it was steamy...'' all four heads turned at the owner of the voice. There the red haired woman stood, a smirk on her face. She was wearing a pair of designer jeans and a black top that made sure everyone would notice the charming valley between her breasts. She walked to the table of smiling faces except the blushing two. Put her car keys down, the four pair of eyes noticing the Bentley logo and all four knowing who had given her that car.

''Nao, it's great to see you. You look great.'' Yohko said sincerely.

The red hair just shrugged expressing her indifference to a fact. She always looked gorgeous but today she had put in a little extra effort to be effortlessly breath taking. Natsuki was going to be here any second after all. And the game would be on. And she would make sure she would start off with the upper hand.

''Thanks Yohko. I see you've been taking care of yourself as well. Although you do look you can use a little bit of a time off and rest.'' Nao replied.

''Well some of us, not so blessed like yourself still need to work Nao.'' Haruka said in a low voice contradicting her usual loud tone. She was getting back at her for the previous tease.

''What can I say. I'm blessed for having Shizuru care for me.'' Nao smirked back.

Mai quickly changed the topic to ease the tension. This get together might be a bad idea after all. She just couldn't guess what was going to happen when Natsuki arrived and the rest of the group would be left as spectators of a cold war.

''Natsuki! Over here!'' Yukino called at the raven girl who was looking at the opposite way.

''Who is that next to her? Oh God! It's A'dee.. A'dee Murder!'' Haruka exclaimed excited. Yukino's eyes had a shadow of jealousy over them now. Haruka noticed this and however dense she might usually be after being with Yukino for so many years -3 year in a hardcore relationship, she now knew what her eyes said. She smiled back sheepishly back at her lover.

''But Yukino, she is _the_ Ad'ee Murder...''

''I don't want to hear it!'' Yukino replied and was about to turn her head away from the girl when a pair of lips didn't allow her to move.

This was something Haruka learned from Mai. Her best friend had told her to use more physical contact and less verbal. She had been listening to Mai's advice since their vacation and it worked like magic! Yukino had blushed and smiled happily. And Haruka was smiling like a little kid as well, only she was smiling on how the action was a success.

''Get a room.'' was the comment coming from the red hair.

''Hello ladies...'' Natsuki said in her trademark cool tone.

The pair which had just walked in made themselves comfortable, seated between Mai and Aoi, taking Nao right across them.

Introductions were made, deceiving smiles were exchanged between Natsuki and Nao, and drinks were ordered.

''Why am I the only one drinking dairy while everyone is drinking alcohol?!'' Haruka asked.

''Because you get drunk from two slips. Remember two weeks ago?'' Natsuki smiled at her friend and the other blushed at the memory.

''What exactly happened two weeks ago? You mean the night she came to your club?'' Yuki asked her brows raised.

''Well, lets just say the drunk Haruka sees everybody as you...'' Natsuki replied with an evil grin.

Haruka's eyes were on the table unable to look up from embarrassment.

''Haurka Suzushiro! What did you do?!'' Yukino's tone had raised. Everybody else at the table was laughing.

But Ad'ee turned to Natsuki for explanation. Natsuki surrendered.

''No biggy. Don't worry Yuki. I dropped her home the instant I saw the drunkenness in her. Although Haruka, the goodbye kiss you gave me still gives me shivers.''

And with this comment everybody started laughing as hard as they can, Haruka wanting to kill herself.

A boy in his twenties approached the group holding a magazine in one hand and a pen in the other. He excused himself and asked for the blonde model's autograph sitting next to Natsuki. The girl smiled genuinely and took the pen and the magazine to sign.

''And you too please if it's not a burden?'' the boy had now turned to Natsuki. Which took Natsuki by surprise, her brows raised.

The explanation came from A'dee when she showed Natsuki the magazine page smiling like the devil. Natsuki saw the paparazzi picture standing in front of her. The pictured showed the blonde model on top of Natsuki's favorite motorbike, her legs spread and Natsuki standing in between those legs leaning on to the girl and taking her in a fierce kiss.

_When the hell did they take that picture?! Fuck those paparazzi._

''Well I hadn't notice we gave out such a good fan service that night.'' the platinum blonde said reading into Natsuki's thoughts. Natsuki took the magazine and signed it, which gave time for the rest of the group to look at the picture. Haruka's eyes widened, Yuki smiled, Aoi and Yohko gave out a devilish grin but it was Nao who hadn't even moved a muscle, staying indifferent. She already had seen the picture 4 days ago after all, and also made sure Shizuru see as well.

* * *

_4 Days Ago_

''My my, Shizuru... Your little Raven is at it again I see...'' Nao said looking closely for Shizuru's reaction who was holding the magazine in her hands with dull crimson eyes.

Shizuru new the blonde very well, since they usually ended up on the same runway or photo shoots. It was A'dee Murder and she didn't need to read the little caption that would confirm. Shizuru had also found the blonde rather attractive before and had indeed received moves from her a little high in number. But all she did was tease back, and never further. And now there, in front of her eyes stood a lip lock high in intensity between the women of her life and the blonde. She had a hard time breathing, actually she realized she wasn't breathing at all. It seemed a imaginary fist had stuck in her throat. But Shizuru knew that fist very well, it was the same imaginary fist that clumped her throat every time she picked up a gossip magazine and saw the dark raven haired girl with another beauty at her side. Natsuki had become the Japan's playboy, changing women more often than her underwear.

Shizuru remembered the first piece of magazine clip that showed the Raven with another girl. And how she was taken under by a sobbing and screaming frenzy, smashing whatever had come to her hand. The frenzy had lasted about 45 minutes when Nao walked in and slapped the shit out of Shizuru. And it was that day Nao and Shizuru became inseparable. Shizuru needed someone to take her out of her frenzies that happened rather often back then, and even after a year later when the frenzies stopped Nao was still there, and Shizuru didn't mind.

''The make a lovely couple don't you think?'' Shizuru replied, her eyes were dull but something in her voice made Nao shiver. Something was different, first the red hair thought a frenzy was coming silently, but then crossed out the option. Something that she had never seen in Shizuru'face was now at motion.

Shizuru dropped the magazine next to the rest of the garbage.

''Wanna go get a drink tonight? I'm thirsty.''

_Yes you're thirsty Shizuru. But I know that thrist since I've seen it in me for years. It's the thirst for revenge._

''You know how long I've waited for you to take me out. Let's go!'' Nao said smiling, leaving her thoughts to herself.

* * *

The chit chat at the comfy luxury café kept on going for two hours. Neither Nao nor Natsuki had made any moves to annoy one another. It was Aoi and Yohko who broke the conversation and excused themselves, they needed to head home. Now, a group of 6 stared to one another, not knowing what to talk about next. But Nao to their suprised stood up from the couch, sipping whats left of her champagne.

''Well, It was a pleasure to see you all, but I've promised myself for someone else for the rest of the night. I'm sure we'll bump to each other very soon.'' She winked at the girls and reached for Shizuru's extremely expensive gift. The car keys now in her hand, and her designer purse on her shoulder she reached in to give Mai a kiss. She only felt obliged to Mai, and waved for the rest. They all knew who the other person Nao had reserved herself for. And Natsuki had a unpleasent face she couldn't hide. Natsuki turned to the red hair that was about to go out the door.

''Hey Nao, this Saturday I've my club opening. I would be delighted to see you there, and _she _is invited as well.'' She said also very cool.

Nao just smirked and nodded. And walked out.

_What the hell did I just do!? Why did I invite her?! I know.. I know I want to see her. But I want to kill her as well, which I surely can't do on my club opening. I guess there are other ways to kill her without getting my hands dirty. Well at least not with blood._

Natsuki shivered to her own dark thoughts of hurting Shizuru and found a face looking puzzled when she glanced up. It was A'dee.

''Who is this mysterious she?'' the platinum blonde asked. She knew something was off since none of Natsuki's friends dared to look at the Raven now, even though they were dying of curiosity to find out what was going on in Natsuki's head.

''Shizuru. Shizuru Fujino.'' Natsuki replied, amazed at how calm she had just uttered the words, she had forbid her tongue to for years.

''Shiz! Oh do you know her?'' platinum asked with a delighted voice. Natsuki had never shared any intimate detail of her life and Shizuru was the most intimate.

''We knew each other back in school, but lost touch later.''

None of the people sitting on the table corrected this false information. None dared to.

_Knew each other? Now isn't that the biggest understatement any one has ever said. Yes A'dee we knew each other. We were schoolmates at first and then became friends due to that crimson's persistence. And she loved me like none could on this universe or so I thought. And I believe I loved her at some point. Or would. Only she never cared enough to find out._

As good as she was in bed, Natsuki Kuga was best at lying.

''Well then I can't wait for this week to pass by!'' platinum said in joy and kissed the cold lips of the Raven. To her surprise there was a fierce reply, that shivered the blonde. She was crazy for those cold lips and emerald eyes.

''Natsuki, take me in the bathroom. Right now.'' platinum whispered to Raven's ear.

''Gladly.''

Afterall Natsuki needed something to take out her desperate needs that were firing up inside of her with the mention of crimson eyes.

They excused themselves from the group and headed for the ladies room. The three left behind looked at each other, not knowing how to react. Mai sighed, Yuki and Haruka just looked out to the street.

''It shouldn't have ended up like this.'' Haruka broke the silence.

Mai and Yukino just nodded.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

The elaborate clock in front of the mirror showed 2 am. The 1, 292 square ft, Ritz Carlton suite was now dimly lit. Same song playing over and over on the laptop that lied balanced on top of few magazines that bear no importance. After all the covers reflected the very image she dreaded to see. It had been over five years, 1827 days to be correct. 1817 days spent letting go of that face, and failing miserably every time.

_Pick apart  
The pieces of your heart  
And let me peer inside  
Let me in  
Where only your thoughts have been  
Let me occupy your mind  
As you do mine_

She knew very well why she couldn't find the power to stop the endless loop of the song. She yearned for it to become alive. Someone long ago told her if you wish enough that it would become a reality. Lies... She wished for it for 13 years and the result was a dreaded opposite. She reached for her pack of cigarettes ignoring the call for dead written in boring bold black and white. Oh how she wished for those neat little soldiers to save her from her misery which she failed to save. She reached for her vintage metallic zippo that had two black stencils on each side. The pictured stencils was the sole reason for her smoking. She remember the day clearly. After the hundredth failing attempt to make her stop smoking she had given up and bought this lighter as an anniversary present-the anniversary part only to be known by herself. She remembered clearly the pair of emerald eyes going crazy over the present she had just received and glancing up in such kind of joy that Shizuru wished the world to stop right now and then. The lighter which was once held in the hands of her torturer now stood in her palm. Her crimson gaze lingered and stopped as she turned the other side of the metallic plate. The very lines of a face that was once so easy to touch...

_You have lost  
Too much love  
To fear, doubt and distrust  
It's not enough  
You just threw away the key  
To your heart_

A distressful sound of her buzzing cell phone shake the girl back to reality. She reached up and looked on the caller, she could not stop her heart skipping a beat and then returning to normal when her eyes recorded the name. She smiled warily, how pathetic she was that after five years she still had crumbles of hope which she couldn't kill every time her phone buzzed. Seeing the name of the caller she had been used to for three years now. _Nao._

''Oi! Get your sorry ass and open the door, I know you're not sleeping!''

Without giving a response, the slim figure stood up, the phone now resting between her cheeks and shoulders. She put on the white designer shirt that laid closest to her among the many close by. Dropped her shoulders, letting the phone fall to the never ending couch.

In a few seconds the feminine and daring pose of the red hair oozing only sex was standing in front of her.

''Ahh... There are dates that can go bad, and ones that makes you want to scream in pain!'' Red hair marched in without a need of an invitation-she never needed one anyway. Smirk on her face Nao observed the luxury resident taller girl had made her new home for a year now.

''You know you ought to let the cleaning ladies in sometime.'' she said holding on to the do not disturb sign, she threw the sign on the table which bear Italian influence before throwing herself on the couch. ''It's good to be home.'' she murmured with a soft gaze that now lingered on the tall figure who looked rather more palish tonight, her porcelain skin, her bare legs, only to be covered by a pair of Calvin Klein slips just like on those billboards.

''It's good to have you home Nao.'' The tall figure smiled with her plastered trademark smile. But her crimson eyes did showed little signs of happiness in them which Nao did not failed to catch.

''Among all the places you could be on a Saturday night, or should I've said all the arms longing to have you right now, somehow I knew I would find you here- all alone in your hotel room. You're becoming way too cliché for my taste Shizuru.'' Shizuru laughed little but heartily at Nao's comment and lied opposite to the read haired beauty. She parted her legs and embraced the girls thighs from each side with her ankles, her stare directed at Nao's face.

''Ara Ara... If I hadn't been this cliché I doubt you would have anywhere else to go Nao-chan. Or am I wrong and there are many other houses ready to welcome you right now?'' Shizuru smirked back to Nao with one hand playing unconsciously with her chestnut tresses. She nudged the red haired girl with her right foot which stood between the vintage brown leathered surface of the couch and the warm side of the girl's. Nao brushed of the gesture by looking out the window. The view of the top floor suite didn't fail to take her breath away once again. The suite had many of the usual big-room boasts. But the clincher was that it topped the tallest building in Tokyo and giva views of Mount Fuji. That was why she had made a habit of coming over to Shizuru's -or more like the mental excuse. She practically stayed there 5 nights of the week-the other two she spent out just so to save her sanity. At the beginning, she hated the figure that lied opposite of her so peacefully right now. She hated her guts. She hated the fact that she could easily get by in this world with her fake plastic character just like her trademark smile. She hated that whatever she wished and yearned for so desperately the crimson eyes got so easily. But somewhere in between things had changed. Over the three years, the two had found much in common against their uttermost desire not to. They were both lonely. They both needed love which God resisted to grant. And it seemed it was much easier when all things aside to share this world together with all of it's disgusting acts. And without even noticing Shizuru had become a necessity in Nao's life, a drug which she didn't want to let go of it's ethereal effect.

''Do not use me as an excuse Shizuru, we both know the reason you're not stepping a foot out is non other than the fact that _she _owns every club in town.'' she turned her evil gaze back to the milky face. Waiting for a reaction that never came.

''I've a key...'' her voice trailed away while observing the face in front of her. The chestnut looked rather angelic with her eyes closed, her face resting on the couch, her lips a saturated shade of pink now stood very welcoming taking slow breaths in and out.

''But you like me opening the door for you...'' Nao was taken aback and shaken off from her thoughts, restraining her self control once again. Shizuru still had her eyes closed, but that evil grin which shattered her angelic composure knew the inner wishes in Nao's mind. Another reason why Nao hated and loved the figure in front of her. How easily even with her eyes closed Shizuru shatter the veiled thoughts and desires in her mind. All her life she had made sure, she belonged to nobody. She was her own island standing alone in the vast ocean. She would not be enslaved to anyone and love was the worst form of slavery. All this time she had worked very hard mentally to keep her self free from Shizuru's dominance over her heart. Anything she received from Shizuru, she made sure to betray many times with many men. A kiss shared with those saturated lips meant hundred lips with strangers. It was her way of keeping her sanity and resisting to give in to the chestnut who would never belong to anyone but the Raven. And tonight once again Shizuru had ignored the mention of her in front of Nao.

Tonight was just another of those nights Nao could smell the depressed and agonizing soul that trapped itself in the huge suite. She could feel the dampened taste of Shizuru's tears which had evaporated into the room. She could hear Shizuru's cries that came as a sweet pitch of a deadly siren. And it tore her apart, knowing the silhouette standing in front of her was only flesh and bones but no soul.

Crimson eyes showed themselves slowly behind the tired black eyelids, locked to the pair in front of her. Nao was a master in hiding her feelings but when it came to Shizuru she had worked much more over the past years to achieve the perfection she had right now- away from any emotions she glared back. It was because she knew the next act would take everything away from her soul while giving everything her heart desired. Those crimson eyes now flaming were coming closer to her. Sight of those saturated lips parting gave Nao shivers that she failed to hide. She closed her eyes only to find her self waiting and waiting a little more. She opened her eyes to find an evil grin welcoming her.

''Ara... I have suspicion that nowadays you want your dates to be failing,'' blood colored eyes now out shadowed that of the devils.

Nao blushed in furry. All the blood in her body now occupied her brain. She quickly tried to free herself from Shizuru's lock, only failed with the fierce kiss that now pressured her lips to part. She wasn't going to let in. She moved sideways to break free which led the two bodies fall on the creamy carpet. Nao her face parallel to the ground tried to crawl away from the body on top of her. But the strong hands pinned her down, the crushing force let no escape routes for Nao anymore. She could feel Shizuru's breath on her lower hip line and it burned her flesh. The burning sensation made its way slowly upwards stopping on the back of Nao's neck.

''I've created my life around lies Nao, and the only truth that lies before me is the one your body gives right now. I don't want to play any games tonight...- tonight you will fall under me without the acts.''

''Fu- ..Fujin-!''

''Hushh...'' it was a demand Nao's mind obeyed immediately.

'' I do not want that. I want you to scream my name... I want you to scream Shizuru.'' Nao could feel the volcano erupting inside of her.

''I want you to feel every inch of my conquer tonight,'' Her thighs burning so much that gave her a mental hurt.

''I'll belong... I'll be.. I'll belong to you tonight. Just tonight...you have the whole me. ''

They had been so passive till now. Sure they fucked, but it never had any intensity. Whenever their naked bodies had touched before it was always just physical, no verbal or emotional intimacy exchanged. Whether Shizuru fucking her brains out of her while never letting go of her plastered smile, or Nao pleasing the woman, there had never been an attachment of any kind. There was no love, no hate, none of anything. Whenever they had fucked they had left any emotions with their clothes outside the room. Nao didn't know what to do, or how to feel. This was a different case and she had not been ready on how to handle this. The tone and the anger in Shizuru she could not place. Deep inside she did not want to address Shizuru's reasons anyway. If this is how it was going to be tonight, fuck it! She was going to let go as well.

_You don't get burned  
Cause nothing gets through  
It makes it easier  
Easier on you  
But that much more difficult for me  
To make you see…_

The bass of the song playing behind now beat between Nao's legs. She brushed away Shizuru's hand fierce fully only to grab her chestnut hair behind and pull hard on to her back. With the green light Shizuru departed Nao's legs and placed herself in between, while biting hard on the white skin laid in front of her face. Nao let out a moan and another more loudly as she felt the girl's index finger circling the core of her burning spot. The forceful stroke that pressured her caused the laced black underwear to drip wetness. Nao opened her eyes to see the porcelain left hand that still pinned her left wrist, she pulled her wrist closer to her and took Shizuru's hand in her mouth. The pressure between her legs now was gone. Shizuru slowly raised the black dress Nao had on, exposing more and more of the Nao's white skin. She could feel the snake's tongue all over her spine marking her territory, leaving a mark Nao would never forget and shiver whenever the thought came to her mind. From the top of her spine the pavement made of saliva went down and finally bit the laced underwear pulling sideways. With the sound of her underwear ripped apart Nao separated her legs even more to her freedom of movement. The tongue raised up and reached for the prey's ear, biting the ear lobe. ''Give in.'' A fierce whisper came with the feeling of something tearing her in to two. Nao let out a little scream as the paws now inside of her moved in and out to breathe. Her mind just like her body now had started a rocking motion. Every time moving upwards more and more fiercely. No man had ever made Nao feel this powerless, this desperate.

''Shizuru! Aaarg- Shizuru!'' She could feel Shizuru's lips now formed into a smile, but however gentle that smile might have been the force between her legs had now doubled in contradiction leaving Nao in astonishment. The girl pulled on to the chestnut hairs even more, her nails diving into the skull that she hold. Shizuru let go of Nao's wrist and turned her over leaving only an inch between their lips. A space only to be reached in a second by Nao's lips. It was anything but a kiss, their tongues fought each other over dominacy, their teeth biting every part of flesh caught to them their jaws almost broke into two. Nao couldn't hold it anymore, the fingers in her had started a circling motion now, which Shizuru realized from their previous encounters that it was a soft spot for Nao. The body under Shizuru started trembling showing signs that the end was near. The two cling more tightly and Nao broke away from the kiss to full her lungs with air before screaming, she screamed her name. The name which had erupted everything inside of her to go out in the open. She felt all the blood in her veins rush to her head as her trembling body slowly relaxed. As if her body was drained to the last drop of blood she lied back in exhaustion. Right then her mind alarmed her to breath, and so she did as if a minute ago she had drowned, she drank all the oxygen in the room. She put her hand over Shizuru's head which now rested on her chest listening to the irregular beat. She looked down to find Shizuru's eyes closed and noticed the single tear coming down. The snake, a cunning animal not to be trusted had lied. She was anything but hers tonight. She did not belong to Nao just like she never had. Nao copied the motion and closed her eyes as well. Oh how she hated the person lying on top of her. How she hated her regret. How she could never replace the need Shizuru longed for.

_Love ain't fair  
So there you are  
My love_

_Your heart's a mess  
You won't admit to it  
It makes no sense  
But I'm desperate to connect  
And you, you can't live like this_

She let the melody drift her. Her crimson eyes hiding beneath her lids. All she wanted was to open her eyes to find herself tangled into the dark raven hair she so desperately missed its scent. The song ached her heart. Had she heard it? Had she listened to the song? It was impossible not to since it had crowned itself first place for 5 weeks now, playing on every radio station over and over again. Japan's favorite idol, with her cold crimson gaze covered every billboard, occupied every runway, the media frenzy following her everywhere. It seemed that people couldn't get enough of listening to this desperate call molded and decorated with music. People of Japan couldn't get enough of Shizuru. But she only had one spectator whom she didn't know if she watched her or not. Or had the time to watch since the Raven was busy every night... Busy every night, with a different body at her arms... It was a childish hope to think after five years, after that day, Shizuru would find the Raven at her door just because she had written a song for her. If anything, after that night all the news Shizuru received about the Raven spitted anger and revenge.

She didn't give a single damn if the country was in love with her, all she cared for was a love-the love of Natsuki Kuga.

''I hate you Shiz.'' Nao sighed.

''I know. And that is the only truth left in my life.''

If only Shizuru knew that her only truth was also a lie...

''Natsuki invited us to her club opening this Saturday.'' Nao barely said. Hoping Shizuru would not hear. But she heard. Shizuru jumped off of Nao and first walked right, then to left, not knowing what to do, she sat on the couch.

''Tell me everything Nao. In detail.'' was all Shizuru could say. But the great demand in her voice shattered Nao's soul to million pieces. Nao found herself talking about the Sunday get together, but she didn't forget to mention the platinum blonde. After reporting to the crimson glare she fell silent.

So did Shizuru. She was sitting on the couch while Nao was still lying down on the carpet. Nao couldn't understand what Shizuru was thinking at the moment, and she sure as hell didn't want Shizuru to go.

''Shizuru, it'll be a blood bath there if you go. You know damn well, she just wants to hurt you! And she will! You will get your guts teared up when you see her with all those fucking sluts! You know damn well the only reason behind it.'' Nao found herself pleading-which was something she had never done before. She had never cried to Shizuru to listen to her. And Nao's eyes widened when she found Shizuru at her lips. Nao stood there her eyes wide, but she kissed back.

''I think I was drowning my self too much in despair. Thank you Nao. '' The crimson said with soft eyes. She cupped the red haired face in her palms.

''If Natsuki wants to play, I'll play as well. After all whatever she wanted, I always gave.''

And with that sentence Shizuru raised back up once again, she threw her hair away from her face. And walked to the dark bedroom.

''Coming? Ara..You didn't think we were finished did you?'' Shizuru had her plastic trademark smile on her face, her hand pointing Nao to the room. But it was Shizuru's eyes that caught Nao. They were alive once again. Alive and burning with a fire she hadn't seen for years.

Nao lifted her naked body and obeyed the demand, walking to the dark bedroom. Shizuru let the girl in first, then walked up to the laptop and changed the song. Increased the volume up and walked back to the naked body now lying on her bed.

''Wouldn't want to disturb our neighbors.'' She said with an evil grin on her face.

''There is only this suité in this floor Shizuru'' said Nao dumbstruck-so very not like her.

''Ara ara... What about the rest of the hotel? I'll make you shake the building to it's core after all...'' and she spread the two bare legs in front of her.

There was a fire burning within Shizuru. A fire that was so lost to her before. But now after so many years it was back, and Shizuru could feel how it could burn the whole city...

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**It seems this chapter got a little long :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**ALRIGHT CHP4 IS UP! HOPE YOU LIKE :) ONE LITTLE SAY: BOTH THE THOUGHTS OF THE CHARACTERS AND THE SHIZURU'S SONG IS WRITTEN IN ITALIC HOPE NO CONFUSION ARISES!**

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The opening was coming close, and Natsuki's nerves were worser by the minute. She was disturbed by her own agitation. This club was like no other and Natsuki had put everything she owned into this project. Her dream club, Japan's dream club, would soon embrace every burning soul in from it's bright red steel gates. There was the main area that the entrance opened up to and two other stories upwards, both facing to the open dancing/stage arena. The floor was made of hard glass, which enabled gorgeous dancers, to move crawling right under the customers feet. It was a thought or rather a fantasy Natsuki had found herself dreaming, the first time she ever went out to a real club. Half of the walls (which meant two story length) was made of fish tank, only it did not have fish in it but giant jellyfishes that would react to the ultraviolet lights in the most harmonious and deadly light games. There were also 1900 gallon cylindrical shark tanks in the toilets, watching the customers every moves with their glassy eyes. The huge bar at every floor gave out a colorful shine, a brownish orange for whiskeys of every label, yellow for champagne and a dominant green for absinthe. Four cage made its way from the ceiling, all stopping at different lengths, they were to carry the most professional seducers, and from time to time customers, if they wanted in on the game.

Natsuki checked her palm pilot once again, going through the _List_. It was a delicate situation since she wanted everybody to share the first night of the club, but the building had a capacity after all, and Natsuki was forced to eliminate a huge amount of people however ranked high in the society they might be. She frowned. She felt as if something was missing, she had the best DJs in Japan no doubt there but it seemed there had to be something else to make this night unforgettable. Just what was it. Most popular models, actors, social party queens, major company holders were all on board but she couldn't figure the final act that would make history.

''Ms. Kuga, Sasha Makell is on the phone, she would like to speak with you?'' Natsuki's second in command said, holding on to her blue tooth. Snap. Natsuki's flow of thoughts came to a halt.

_Sasha Makell. Jesus... Isn't she... She is Shizuru's PR?!_

''Give me the call!'' Natsuki snapped quickly and reached for the phone. Her hands seem to be a little shaky which just annoyed her all the more.

''Hello, Is this Ms. Kuga?'' a very mature, sensual and provoking voice said.

''Yes, that would be me.'' and that was the right-to -the-point voice, a Natsuki Kuga trademark.

''I've a proposition for you that I believe both parties would profit in good amount. I'm calling in behalf of Shizuru Fujino, rings a bell?''

''Yes. I'm listening?''

''Well, Ms. Fujino is releasing her next album in 9 days. We thought it would be good advertisement for your club and on our part if she were to give a one-song-concert at your club. We will give you 24 hours to think it through and if you'd like we can talk the details afterwards. Ofcourse-''

''I'd be delighted.''

_Fuck! Hold your horses!_

''Oh...Well then. I'll send for one of my men to bring you a contract and we can go through the formalities with you or a person of your choice?''

''Right. My assistant shall help you through.''

''We are delighted to have a positive response to our offer. Thank you very much for your time...''

_Yeah yeah yeah.. PR bullshit._

Natsuki was about to let go off the phone when she heard something which made her clinge tightly on the mechanical device.

''Done Ms. Fujino.''

''Ara... That was rather qu-''

The line was off.

Natsuki threw the phone to the wall, and lit a cigarette with the same fierce. Her assistant quickly picking the pieces of the phone, ran off the room to get a new one.

''Wait! Change of plans. Set up the stage. We are having Shizuru on.'' the emerald eyes gave their order and looked at the stage to be.

_What are you planning Shizuru? 5 years, and now all of a sudden you don't **just** show up, but this..?_

_You just don't give a shit do you. It's all a game for you. Fuck Shizuru. Fuck you!_

Natsuki spent the rest of the day yelling at her employees, making sure everything would be perfect. She had to show Shizuru what she left behind five years ago, she had to make her regret to her flesh and bones. She had to let the woman know, that what everybody desires now, once could have been hers. But that her chance was long gone.

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It was a mayhem out there. In less than 24 hours the news of Shizuru Fujino's appearance with a bonus concert to the lucky list of people had forced everybody in Tokyo to appear at the gates of _Sin. _The hottest club to be. Now the entrance was more like a red carpet ceremony, guests arriving in their limousines, welcomed with the burning sensation of flashing cameras, and screams, many hands tying to reach out to them. After all anybody walking in was some kind of a celebrity, it was a chance no fan would ever let escape.

''Holy Fuck what is that sea of people!'' Haruka gasped inside the limousine her friend had sent. Thank God Yukino had forced the girl into changing her clothes and saved her from the embarrassment she would have in couple of minutes.

''Well, Shizuru only triggered what would already happen.'' Yukino said also looked behind the dark shaded glass.

''Mai, you know you look very different today. You... Hmm. Yes! Sexy! You're very sexy tonight.'' Mikoto grinning happy to find the right word.

Mai blushed. ''Why thanks you love.'' was the only answer she gave out to her close friend.

''Well, here we go,'' they all said and left the stopping car, instantly blinded by the cameras and deaf from the screams. Well wasn't that an ego boost. Even Haruka's usual marching had turned into a elegant walk till the gates.

They all came to halt with the sight of the club. They didn't know what to do, half of the heads looked down under them while the other half followed the giant white shapes, smoothly dancing. They were lost in the colorful illusion their eyes had just received. Damn Sin was good, was what every one of them said, while a woman in black dress approached to them.

''This way please, Ms. Kuga has reserved the top floor for you.'' and she showed the way, the rest sheepishly followed looking around rather than in front of them.

Top floor had fewer people than the rest of the two floors. It was the V.I.P, models running here and there, actors talking them into doing shots with them, corporate faces relaxing on the lounges. And the biggest lounge that wasn't occupied by any one seemed to be reserved by them. As they took their place in the lounge they realized the whole club was down at their feet, they took couple of minutes to stare down at the sea made of flesh and bones, creating waves of excitement in the air.

''Well, don't we have the best place in the club!'' Mikoto grinned and reached for the shot glasses that came by their side. They laughed and talked while the rest of their friends one by one joined them, all having the astonished look in their eyes. Little did they know that Natsuki was right across from them. Watching up and down behind the dark glass, and checking the entrance with one eye on the security cameras. It had been two hours already but there was so sign of Shizuru.

_Shit! I should have guessed this was a trap! And I will wake up to statement saying she didn't like the oysters at the club and left or something. Should have said No! This is bad. I fell for her game._

Once again she was furious to herself, but this was her night so she let out a sigh and started walking out of the room to join her friends.

''Report to me when- if she arrives.'' and she left with a drink on her hands.

* * *

Another round of tequilas passed and Natsuki found herself laughing out with her friends. It had taken her some time to reach her friends, stopping on every face that showed gratitude on how Tokyo needed this club- this edge! Natsuki was ecstatic at the comments and so she let go all of her nervousness. She put her one arm around a specific platinum blonde that looked ravishing and breathtaking tonight. Her hands slowly falling down and stopping right on the woman's perfect butt. Another body appeared next to Natsuki, forcing Natsuki's left arm into same position. It was the Russian top model Iva, and so Natsuki did the same, grinning. Oh life was good, very good. Her eyes widened for a second, 'her life is good motto' had shattered for a split second when she saw the red figure walking closer to them

''God Natsuki, you have outdone yourself, if I may say.'' Nao smirked. Looking around smoothly targeting the preys of her night.

''Thank you.'' was all Natsuki gave and returned her attention to the Russian model's question. Her friend asked the obvious right then.

''Where is Shizuru?'' it was Mikoto in all her naivety.

''Dunno. I didn't see her at all today. She had a movie shoot.'' Red hair shrugged.

_Damn! Why damn. You wanna see her so much even after all the shit?_

Natsuki, absent minded, nodded at the Russian who seemed to be looking for a confirmation for her conversation.

''Oh! So the rumors are true! She is going to be the next lead in that action movie. Now I'm jealous.'' A'dee said sincerely. Everybody else smiled and reach for another round of glasses, A'dee directed them towards.

Right that moment all the lights in the club with the music went out. All faces looked at each other for an explanation.

And a guitar solo made it's entrance. Every eye turned to stage with excitement. It was time! Finally, most of the people in the club said to themselves. And the other half shivered to their bones in ecstasy. Natsuki felt a chill down her spines when a figure appeared and ran to hold the microphone with the spotlight only to herself,and starting singing that minute. The picture in front of the emerald eyes had taken her breath away.

_I'm no Barbie doll!_  
_I'm not your baby girl!!_

The figure had black leather pants on her, which showed her perfect slim legs and her perfectly proportioned ass. She wore black patent leather heels that were designed by Bruno Frisoni just for the girl, holding the record of owning the most expensive heels in Tokyo and most parts of the world. A fuchsia red from the bottom of her heels captured the glances whenever the girl pulled her knees in the most aggressive way. And the bottom up was a sight that gave every heart skipping beats, since the girl wore nothing except the infamous Black Diamond Fantasy Miracle Bra- worth;

$5 million only in the making. It featured 3,575 black diamonds, 117 certified one-carat white round diamonds and thirty-four rubies that took every attention to the mountains of desire... And the two 50-carat heart shaped black diamonds dangling from the center, didn't help Natsuki either. However good it might have looked on Adrianna Lima in all the billboards, every man and woman on that club would say it belong to Shizuru Fujino.

_So I've done ugly things and I have made mistakes  
And I am not as pretty as those girls in magazines..._

She had said that last line with a sheepish smile that made everybody in the club to laugh out. Even the most rigid looking black tie corporates had found themselves bending down from Sin's bars, drinking in the image in front of them. If this was how Rock'n Roll gonna be, then hell they would gladly be a groupie! The whole club shouted and jumped as one heart, reaching for the woman in front of them. While the girl hadn't even looked up once, she knew very well where a specific emerald gaze pinning her soul came from.

_I am rotten to my core if they're to be believed  
So what if I'm no baby bird hanging upon your every word?  
Nothing ever smells of roses that rises out of mud _

Everybody in the friendly circle was shocked, unable to say anything but just watch. There stood a rock diva in front of them with her hair in a pony tail and her make up pretty simple. Well Shizuru's natural looks were more than enough. She always knew where to go glam and where to keep simple. So it was still the friendly face they were all so used to, receiving smiles on a daily basis in the school corridors. Mai was grinning with the sight of her friend. Except from Nao, she was the only one that had kept the connection with Fujino alive somehow-of course she had never uttered a word to Natsuki. She and Shizuru would share delightful phone conversations almost every week and now she was proud of her close friend on the stage. She broke away to observe Natsuki's face. None would notice but Mai knew the emotions behind that emerald stare. It was emotions contradicting itself. It had anger in them, it had joy in them, but mostly she had relief in them. Mai stopped at the final adjective she had used to describe her friend. Relief...

_You're relieved that she is back in your life for better or worse Natsuki, eh?_

Then she smiled and shouted, ''YEAH SHIZURUUUU!!!'' and the rest of the group followed her shouts.

_Why do you love me  
Why do you love me  
Why do you love me it's driving me crazy!!_

Shizuru screamed her guts out as she repeated the last three sentence. Right then a woman jumped up to reach her, as Fujino was leaning towards the people while singing. Shizuru saw the coming act next and allowed the woman to capture her from her neck with both hands reaching in for a tempestuous kiss. A fierce,ferocious kiss it was, the band played louder in ecstasy and the screams got out of control with two beautiful women french kissing their way.

_You're sick of all the rules  
Well I'm sick of all your lies..._

Shizuru continued when she got her breath back, she uncling herself from the arms and kept up with the show. Her sweat had made her look even more desirable now, Nao swore there was considerable amount of sweat and perfume evaporating in the air right now with the body temperatures rising higher and higher. She thanked Natsuki once again for not saving any money on the air conditioning system of the huge club. She eyed the woman who she spent her almost every night, in her arms, at least for couple of hours. Shizuru then as always would let go of Nao's slim arms and curl up on the other side. As the blonde kept rocking the night, Nao only thought of their nights together, how everyone's object of desire would make her scream in joy 5 times a week.

_Now I've held back a wealth of shit I think I'm gonna choke  
I'm standing in the shadows with the words stuck in my throat  
Does it really come as a surprise when I tell you I don't feel good? _

Nao listened to the lyrics. She had never heard this song, usually she would tag along with Shizuru on recordings, and would know content of her albums. This explained the blonde's absence on some nights, and why she had never called for Nao to accompany. This was especially for Natsuki Kuga.

_Did you really never felt good at all Shizuru? Ever, all those years? I mean nothing but a warm body and a friend to you. Even friends have a way of easing the torture and making the other happy. Then what was I?_

She glimpsed at Natsuki, realizing that the Raven's chuckles had gone white, holding tight on the glass she was holding. Nao felt good, that Natsuki shared her jealousy on the scene that was before them minutes ago. She wondered how Natsuki would react if she were to make out with Shizuru in front of her eyes. She smirked at her thoughts, there was a to do list tonight after all. And Nao decided that having her as a friend would mean these kind of things rather than a shoulder to cry on. She was going to do everything she can to make this night Shizuru's but not Natsuki's. Right when Nao was busy with her thoughts, she realized all the faces around her had turned to Natsuki's.

It was Shizuru. She was looking right at a pair of emerald eyes as she was about to keep singing the rest of the lyrics she had written from her heart. All the face in the club also turned to look at who the infamous Fujino had locked her eyes with.

The music of the band fell silent, playing in a very low frequency. The most beautiful voice uttered the rest of the song.

_I think you're sleeping with a friend of mine  
I have no proof but I think that I'm right  
And you still got the most beautiful face  
It just makes me sad most of the time _

-BAM! The music was back on much higher than before as Shizuru broke off her gaze and went back to shouting the verse of the song. After 4 more 'Why do you love me' shouts, she threw the mic and quickly bowed, not even waiting for the screams of her audience and she left the stage.

Natsuki was pale. All her blood was drained when those crimson eyes were on her. She felt as if all her guard she had spent so much time to mold and strengthen had shatter into million pieces. She realized she had her mouth slightly open, and in an instant closed them,breathing heavily from her nose.

''Yay! She looked at us! Haha!'' Mikoto gave a laughter of pleasure.

''I missed her so much, she better hurry up!'' she continued and took another shot of tequila.

Natsuki turned to her friends, none seemed to be shocked as she was, they had already turned to their usual chats and drunk laughters.

_Am I the only one who felt what just happened a minute ago?! _

Was her thoughts as she was pulled into another round of shots.


	5. Chapter 5

**WOW! I'm crazy thankful for all the comments so far! **

**Believe me I'm reading every single one of them :D Many thanks to komett, MyPennamehasebeentaken, Kaon chan, musicslave88,kikyo4ever, Glowie (I laughed hard thanks to innerglowie!) and many more I might have forgotten at the moment. Thanks to you guys I kept writing today, ditching another day of my college life.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

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It had been 47 minutes to be exact and Shizuru was still no where to be seen. Natsuki had spent every second of those minutes trying to figure out her act. The blonde of her past would soon appear, and she had no idea the façade she was going to put. But finally she came to a conclusion. What would make Shizuru react the most- indifference. She had decided on acting as if nothing ever happened between them, that they were merely two people of no importance meeting after many years. She would make sure though, Shizuru see that Natsuki's attention was on everyone except her. Wasn't that a contradicting resolution to past 48 minutes she had spent now. She felt a pressure on her back and realized it was A'dee talking with her friend. The platinum soon shifted her attention to Raven, smiling, though Natsuki sensed something different was on that smile now. Perhaps an ounce of jealousy? Guess she wasn't the only one, figuring something was going on during that short concert.

''I'm really sorry Yukino, but it seems I have to pay a visit to the ladies room.'' the platinum concluded her chat with glass eyed girl.

''Natsuki? Care to show me where it is?'' she had a devilish grin on her face. Natsuki read between the lines rather quickly.

''This way gorgeous.'' and she showed the way. They passed the resting lounge and moved to the restrooms. Natsuki quickly opened the chic stall door and threw the girl inside then shutting it behind.

''AHAHA! You Rad Kuga You!'' platinum laughed out and jumped on the Raven in an instant, her arms snaked around Natsuki ready to suffocate, her legs around Natsuki's waist trapping the woman's body against her own and the stall wall.

Natsuki was dominating the kiss until the platinum blonde with the urge to taste more of Natsuki win over. This was exactly what Natsuki needed, somehow her chest was on fire, she could feel the oxygen burn inside of her as if it was gasoline. She was definitely in the mood for some rough sex.

She took two steps and pushed the girls back to the other wall, her teeth piercing to blonde's anemic lips. Natsuki started to make her way down to girls collarbone, sucking with all her force. Neither of them cared for the sounds of other people coming and going. If anything, on the contrary Natsuki felt bigger waves of fire inside her chest whenever a girl would start a lipstick talk with her friend, the subject being of course; Shizuru Fujino.

She bit the slim body crushing between the wall and her body, every time she heard her name. She pulled on the black dress to gain access to milky breasts, they seemed so white Natsuki swore they looked translucent. She could see the girl's veins popping in rhythm with her sucking. She then began to graze her teeth along her chest, she bit down lightly on a pert nipple and that moment A'dee gave out the first moan of many to come. The platinum blonde pierced her nail into Natsuki's neck and forced the woman's head more fiercely to her breasts. Natsuki obeyed. A normal person could not hold on that situation for long and would let the body that he or she is carrying down. But not Natsuki Kuga, this was one of her favorite position of all times and she could easily carry the body wrapped around her high in the air.

''That woman! God I would give anything to spend a night with her! Anything to have those red eyes on my naked body!'' an anonymous voice said and received a giggle in response.

Natsuki bit harder on the nipple she was sucking previously, the blonde let out another moan more louder this time. Natsuki had her eyes closed and hearing those words only flashed back a single scene in her mind. A porcelain white naked body of perfection, so breath taking that Natsuki believed it was the reincarnation or coming alive of Greek statues of Venus...Chestnut tresses much more darker at that time covering the also very beautiful face, a crimson pair of sleepy eyes piercing through those of emerald.

Natsuki reached into the thighs pressing up her body, and like eel, it slid inside the sanctuary cave. She didn't want to play around tonight. This time the moan could be heard by everybody in the ladies room. There were giggles, and jealous sighs, somebody even cheered up for them, and Kuga only forced in and out of A'dee, her eyes still closed. The blonde dropped her head on Natsuki's, biting her skull, her ears, anything that came in contact with her teeth. Natsuki put her second finger in, now that it was much easier due to the ecstasy in form of a fluid coming out of the woman. Natsuki opened her eyes with the pain in her skull. Her eyes lingered down for a second and froze with the sight of something she recognized too well. Down further from them, which would be the next stall, Natsuki saw a flash of fuchsia red. The red was there only a split second, but Natsuki believed in her judgment very well since an hour ago she had observed an image of a woman from head to toe, every inch in between included. It was the same red from the heels that had fucked everyone's heart and brains out an hour ago on the stage. She chocked for a split second. Natsuki's body was on auto pilot, ready to take the jet in front of her high in the air, but her mind was now just blank.

To define how Natsuki Kuga felt one would first have to drain her body out of blood with a needle inserted into the vein, then take the full blood storage container and put it into the freezer. After making sure that every ounce of blood is frozen one would have to grab the nearest blender and put chunks of frozen blood with the following; whole bottle of Bacardi 151, two big chunks of broken glass, a squeeze of lemon and two spoon of strawberry syrup. Then blend well at high speed. Pour the outcome into a glass of your choice, find the perfect place where you had your best and worst memories all at once and start gulping and repeat the procedure till the blood container is at last empty, and substance runs through your every vein, poisoning your every cell.

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She didn't have the guts to set her on motion yet. She had been sitting on that toilet seat for almost an hour she thought. She now had a long sleeve white shirt, made in hands of proud mens shirt maker Eton. Of course once again an exception was made when a call from Shizuru Fujino came and the shirt was ready exquisitely for her taste in no time. However simple it may seem the devil was in the details, the stitches were also in red matching the color under her heels. Not so big in size crimson diamonds were placed on the high cutaway collars and cuffs. It fit her so perfect that Shizuru was shocked on how they had arranged the perfect size even without measuring once.

_You can't hide here forever Shizuru. Sooner or later you will get up, march up and act out, apologizing for the delay due to your fans. But what exactly am I going to do when she turns around and looks at me! Will she even look at me...?_

_Of course she will stupid, she was the one inviting you after all. Does that mean she wants to see me? Or does it mean she could care less. Is this a game Kuga or... I can only wish to take back time so many times, but the more I wished the more time passed. Is she even the same person? I can't recognize you anymore Natsuki, you have done everything I feared you would. You took every possible path the old Natsuki would be scared shitless to take..._

_Guess you've grown up Natsuki Kuga. Guess now, you face your fears then to blame others and runaway... I can only hope deep down you still hold on to your childish heart. But I know you do. I can still sense it beating, although it's a faint beat, I know it's there._

''You Rad Kuga You!'' and a giggle.

Shizuru saw millions of invisible ivy branches shot up from the ground and pin her to that toilet seat. Her eyes were about to leave their socket as she identified voices just a few step next to her, split with only a thin metal wall. It was Natsuki, and A'dee Murder. With the invisible ivies still all around her body, she reached her hand and touch the cold metal. A reply came back shortly in form of a vibration, Shizuru could guess one of the bodies had just slammed to the same metal. She slowly stood up, and put her other hand on the metal. She needed to be sure, and her brain somehow thought she could sense the confirmation through the metal wall. And when Natsuki broke the kiss to breath, Shizuru was sure and shaken to her core.

Over the years most nights while looking at the moon absent minded, Shizuru would find herself wondering what Natsuki be doing at that exact moment. However dull she hoped Natsuki's nights would be, her brain was a mean second entity telling her all she never wanted to hear. That Natsuki would be in the arms of another, and more painfully would be enjoying being the arms of another. Yet she had never once let her cruel brain imagine what the scene would be like. If she were to think, Shizuru knew very well her heart would indeed stop beating. And now her worst dreams, were very much a reality. Natsuki, her Natsuki was so close that she could hear her heavy breathing, only it was in sync by a strangers. First Shizuru thought about running out, running out of this room, club, this city, this island that only gave her heart ache. But she couldn't move. She closed her eyes, and turned, leaning her back slowly to the metal wall. She needed to hear it all, she needed to believe she was to the one with Natsuki, paying silly games in the dark parts of the clubs, fooling around in the ladies room, using every chance to turn two existing bodies into one. As she closed her eyes, she let go of every sound sent to her brain, filtering only of Natsuki's. She wrapped her arms around her body, and for a split second she really believed Natsuki was in her arms...

Sounds had a very bad habit of allowing brain to visualize. Shizuru didn't need to see anything, her brained covered the absent parts perfectly. Every move, every breath, every kiss, every touch, every bite, every moan, Shizuru felt it, more real than the reality itself. When Natsuki's fingers made their way in, Shizuru felt it breathe inside of her. She hold herself, biting on her fingers, not making a single sound. And right then she heard the familiar voice.

''Say that you belong to me!'' it came which such a demand full voice that Shizuru trembled, causing her eyes to open.

''Say it!''

''I need to know... Say that you belong to me...'' this time it was a whisper, almost a desperate call and Shizuru swore it came right behind her neck. Afraid, the crimson woman turned, wanting desperately to find only a bright the metallic wall. And so she did. A relief came. Slowly she closed her eyes, a single tear ran down from her pretty face.

_I belong to you. I belong to only you Natsuki Kuga. I've and will always belong to you..._

She couldn't take it any longer, she opened the stall and walked out of the bathroom. The last thing she heard was a thin voice giving the same answer that could never match Shizuru's in meaning.

* * *

Natsuki heard the next stall open, the sound of heels, the sound of Shizuru walking out.

_I can only dream that you answered me like you would back then. I can only pray to the God's above who laugh at me, to have you say those words to me once again._

And right then the body she was lifting with the sole power of her hips, trembled, and so she took out her arms and embraced the girl who was sobbing through the aftershocks of her orgasm. Natsuki tasted something salty. She reached for her lips and found a single tear. How long had it been since she shed a tear she did not know. It was the old Natsuki who would cry in secret, it was the old Natsuki who would let the pain dwell inside of her, with the hope to find joy. She smiled. She had missed the old Natsuki...


	6. Chapter 6

**Well, another Chapter, sorry it's not a long one this time. I needed to Edit it couple times, sorry for the multiple alerts if you've received my... Even I wonder how things will turn out ;) Thanks to everyone for the reviews! The more reviews, the more excited I get, the sooner you get new chapters ^^**

**All aside I hope you enjoy as much as I am.**

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Love in many ways resembles a cockroach. Both can be found anywhere in the world, both one of the oldest species that lingers through time. And however on the contrary we may think, Love, just like a cockroach would survive even the biggest nuclear explosion that you thought killed everything the surface of the planet.. But after the deadly silence, and after you think all is done. There, just like love, a cockroach would surface it's head. And do not be fooled into thinking it's because a cockroach has a complex metabolic entity, it's the simplicity blessed within it by creation that doesn't allow it give up. Love is also very simple, it's the human that labeled it the most complex phenomena there ever is. Love, like a cockroach, is very hard to kill, even when you separate it's head from the body, it still hangs on there, living enough time to make you regret your action.

And now after 5 years, and a supposed nuclear holocaust, a cockroach had showed it's presence in the imaginary world emotions.

''God! Were have you guys been?!'' Haruka exclaimed, very very drunk.

''We're here now.'' Natsuki replied, reaching in for a glass which she had no idea what it contained. She could see Shizuru in the corner of her eye, cornered by four women, sitting calmly. It seemed all her attention was at a particular actress Japan knew intimately. Natsuki let go off the hand holding her, noticing the platinum was reluctant to do so. She let go anyways. Now she was looking directly to Shizuru's face, trying to catch a glimpse of emotion. She didn't hear what Haruka was babbling about at all. She focused on the face lines of the crimson eyed beauty. They hadn't changed one bit. It still looked like the most fragile porcelain face, ready to break any moment. Only Natsuki knew very well it was made of hard steel. She took a sip of her drink, only to spit it out that instant.

''Arrgh! What the fuck is this!'' she coughed many times, due to the burning sensation in her throat.

''I believe that would be Absinth...'' and Natsuki's heart ache with the sound, and shattered to pieces- a cough followed. She lifted her head up to find a pair of eyes that felt like Brandy in the coldest night.

''Hello, Shizuru.''

''Hello, Natsuki.''

It was the tone, not words.

God, a mischievous kid as he is, deals two cards from his eternal deck to every soul he breathes into. And when you open your eyes for the first time, you let a scream, because of that. The tiny you even then would know that the game is on. Some like Shizuru Fujino recieves an Ace of Spades and a King of Spades, waiting for the queen to show it's presence, after all it would never complete into a Royal Flush without it's Queen. In Shizuru's case God had flipped four cards that puts Shizuru a step between having it all and losing it all depending on the final card. However a good start it may seem, soon the person would realize the awful truth. The truth that the Queen doesn't want her King and never shows her face.

Some such as Natsuki Kuga would receive a Queen of Hearts and a 7 of Spades. And it would make no sense to them. Life from the beginning would start with hardships and pain. As a result, a displease towards the game occurs. Not having a reason or a person to live for, she would loose all hope. Right around that time when trust comes as a strange word she never felt, a person shows up. Cards start to unfold from the lowest making no sense. She would be confused, about her past and what future might bring. Yet after what she may admit a long time, she embraces anyway, trusting once again, only shattered as to find the next cards the strongest of betrayal to her faith, and to her love.

* * *

It seemed as if the whole world had stopped turning. It stayed put on the solar system hanging idly in the vast space. Giving two people all the time they needed before it went on it's never ending turns.

''It was a great performance out there.'' she said very cool.

''Ara... I should thank you for the chance.'' the girl gave a plastered smile.

''No need to thank. It was good business.''

_Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!Good business?! Wait, am I calling myself stupid? What am I 12 again?! _

It seemed the inner Natsuki had gone back to her childhood while the other one became a cold hearted bitch. Natsuki saw the instant pain her last words caused.

''Sorry.'' she muttered very softly, but Shizuru heard her as her head shot back up to face the emerald gaze.

''It's been long eh? Hope you've been well?'' the Raven asked letting go of all the acts.

''Yes it has been Natsuki. And I'm not doing bad if you've noticed.'' it was her tone that put a little smile on Natsuki's face she couldn't control. The ironic humorous tone, ready to tease... Just like the old days.

Shizuru left the waiting girls, and sat to a couch away from her fans, closer by to Natsuki. The unstoppable urge in her brain ordered Natsuki's body to do the same, and so she sat. Two other people could easily be seated at the distance between their bodies, but both Natsuki and Shizuru thought she could almost feel each others breaths.

''Your hair got lighter.'' Natsuki said. She couldn't believe what had came out of her mind. Must be the alcohol she thought.

''Do not be fooled. It's the cosmetics. Even I don't recognize myself in the mirror anymore.'' Shizuru smiled from her heart.

''Ye.. Yea. Guess that happens.''

_What THE FUCK! What are you illiterate now. Seriously Natsuki, shake off the high school attitude!_

''It's a magnificent club. May I ask something?'' crimson gaze turned to Natsuki who was looking back.

''Sure.''

''Why _Sin_?''

''Yeaaah Natsuki! I was about to ask myself, when you left all of a sudden.'' Haruka said all very drunk.

Natsuki gave out a little laugh from the bottom of her heart that she hadn't given for a long time.

Which had Shizuru raise her brows in confusion, trying to understand what it could be that made Natsuki laugh even in a tense environment like the one they were currently in.

''Well, remember our high school play? The one we had for you guy's graduation.'' she said with a smirk.

Now she had both girls very confused. Right then for a second Shizuru saw pain in Natsuki's face, a pain that was very deep. The pain slowly faded and the girl kept talking with a smile.

''That Shakespeare guy's play Measure for Measure? The problematic play that our teacher had picked for the graduation celebrations while she was half sleep. You Shizuru were playing Escalus, and you my dear Haruka was Angelo- whoever assigned the roles.''

Before Natsuki could go on further, hell broke loose. Shizuru found herself laughing out loud, while Haruka was deep red in embarrassment when she realized what Natsuki was talking about. Such laughter and embarrassment caused everybody's attention to turn towards them. All of their friends looked in amusement with a slight of shock that Natsuki Kuga and Shizuru Fujino was once again side by side, laughing. Was the world coming to an end? While all faces looked happy with the sight, there was a single pair of light blue eyes that burnt with jealousy. And the same pair left the scene, going back to the ladies room. She needed something to take the edge off, something to calm her to her senses. She reached for her purse and took out a needle...

''And it was Shizuru's line as she walked up and said; _Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall... _But who had guessed that virtue would be in the form of you Haruka!'' Natsuki said, laughing harder with everyone...

* * *

It was a play thought problematic by the world, it dealt with the issues of mercy, justice, and truth, and their relationship to pride and humility: _"Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall"_. Natsuki remembered the scene very well, since it was that day she realized her true feeling for Shizuru. She was watching the the woman backstage, not able to take her eyes off. Thinking how stupid she had been, not to let the woman love her all this time. And as the play went, Natsuki found herself in a dilemma. She had spent so much time hiding whatever she believed she didn't feel, and now she didn't know how to show Shizuru. She knew she would die during the process if she were to confess all of a sudden to the girl's face. And when the Act to was about to take place,_ in time _thought Natsuki to herself. Day by day and gradually, that way I can get myself ready too.

''Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fa- ARGH!''

Natsuki, as well as the whole auditorium, fell silent with their eyes widened. Angelo standing on the set design which meant to be a balcony, had fallen right on top of Shizuru, her red panties under the spot light... Everyone had burst into laughter frenzy all through the play, even the actresses laughed during the play from time to time. And when everyone left that night all they were thinking was a pair of red panties, except for Natsuki Kuga. She had other thoughts occupying her mind while walking out next to Shizuru Fujino.

''Ahh..! I still remember the red in front of my eyes.'' Shizuru laughed out some more, while Haruka turned to her girlfriend for some consolation only to find her laughing as well.

''Well, now you understand the red entrance and the name.'' Natsuki said. Lying.

Haruka sighed. Why was the world trying so hard to get back at her, she didn't know. But after having another shot of tequila, she laughed out with the rest -then she fell unconscious.

Everyone's attention fell on the curly blond, except for Natsuki's

_Red for bleeding my heart out, and Sin because that was the only way I could live through after what you did to me..._


	7. Chapter 7

**AND THE NEXT CHAPTER IS UP! I know you all want to know the past, but only little hints for now. I'm enjoying the story so much and there is still more way to go... Hope you like the chapter and THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS! They are the only thing that keeps me writing, so please do review. I take every one of them to consideration! Well enough of me babbling ^^  
**

Haruka's passing out hinted everyone it was time to go home. Natsuki called in for their cars as goodbye's were exchanged with lots of love, hugs and kisses. Natsuki's emerald eyes was keeping track of Shizuru's silhouette while she was hugging Yukino. One more person to go and then it was their time to say goodbye. Raven reached Mai, the same time Shizuru did. Crimson eyed girl gave a little nod, smiling, encouraging Natsuki to go first.

''Aww. I wish tonight never ended.'' Mai gave out a little sigh, her arms around Natsuki.

''Me too.'' Shizuru agreed, smiling deep from her heart...

* * *

It was the same voice that had haunted Natsuki's dreams every night for the past years. She remembered how she would ditch classes, and find herself walking to the university campus next to Fuuka Academy juts to have glance of the owner of this voice. Her plans to gradually let Shizuru know, was in motion but really slowly, now that she only saw Shizuru much less. She knew very well why Shizuru had chosen the university right next to Fuuka Academy even though the were more prestigious ones begging her to enroll. And that fact alone made Natsuki blush to her core, her heart filled with love. Shizuru, as popular in the Fuuka Academy as she was, in the University of Hokkaidō it was a phenomenon. She was already a celebrity right then, able to capture any heart glimpsing her way, so it was fate that she had become the most anticipated woman in Japan.

Everyday Natsuki would ditch her afternoon classes and ride two blocks in her Ducati stopping at the gates of the University. That would be the same time Shizuru got off her classes, and walk to her dormitory gates, not knowing a pair of emerald eyes watching her. This specific time was known by everyone else, so it should come as no surprise that every boy and girl would be waiting for Shizuru so that they can accompany her to her dorm, which was the only single room at the top floor of the building, twice the size of other student's. It was the only request by Shizuru Fujino when she enrolled, and the faculty was more than happy to do whatever she wanted.

To everyone's disappointment and Natsuki's joy, Shizuru never invited anybody among the sea of people to her room. When she reached the dorms she would always smile, and thank everyone, then walk in alone.

Every Sunday Natsuki would wake up in a rush, brush her teeth and get changed in the speed of light, jumping to her bike without any breakfast. Couple minutes later she would hear the voice she waited all week.

''Come in Natsuki. It's open.''

She would walk in to find Shizuru Fujino dressed in a beautiful morning robe (Natsuki had realized Shizuru had a jaw dropping collection) and a pot of tea, freshly brewed in her hands. In that instant Shizuru would look like a delicate flower that could not be touched by any hands of human. Though this thought would be shattered in a moment when Shizuru always jumped on Natsuki into a hug.

''Aaahh How I missed my Natsuki this week!''

And a blush by Natsuki Kuga.

''Ara ara Natsuki... Lately your shade of red has become a much more radiating one. Could it be that you are falling in love with me?'' The woman said with a smirk on her face.

''Baka!'' Natsuki could see the red light radiating from her face. She looked away from Shizuru towards the breakfast she had prepared for the Raven, realizing the jar of mayo placed right next to her plate. She smiled from the inside...

Shizuru let go of the hug, and sighed.

''Well come on, the tea is getting cold.'' and then she smiled warmly.

If only Shizuru could stop with those comments Natsuki would actually ease up into showing her feelings, this Sunday like the previous ones was just another day between two friends.

''Natsuki, you know you don't have to knock and wait for an invite to enter my room every time. It's never locked, plus it may do you some good to catch me in an off guard position.'' Shizuru smiled devilishly, and gave a little laugh when Natsuki was now officially a tomato. Yet while blushing, Natsuki also noted down not to knock next time she came in.

If Shizuru only knew then, what her little comment to make Natsuki blush triggered, she would never utter such words. It was this little comment that gave birth to the chained events that had parted the ways of Shizuru Fujino and Natsuki Kuga for five years. After all it is what we think insignificant always turns out to be the fatal.

* * *

''You know guys, how about we have dinner tomorrow night?'' Mai said with hopeful eyes looking both at Natsuki and Shizuru.

''Sorry. The club needs me, it's still a chaos out here.'' Natsuki said without thinking.

Mai made a sad puppy face.

''I'd be delighted Mai. I've been hearing about this sushi restaurant, supposedly pretty good.'' The chestnut haired beauty said, the genuine smile still plastered on her features.

''Right then!'' Mai exclaimed.

Natsuki cursed on the Gods. Why did she had to talk first! Now after Shizuru's comment it would be way too obvious to make a change of plans.

''Well, good night Natsuki, thank you for a delightful night. It was good to see you.''

_It was good to see me? Why was and not is. Are you planning to run away Shizuru. Of course, the guilty can never face the reminder of their guilt._

''Yea, me too Shizuru. Good luck on your next movie.'' Natsuki replied in her most polite way. And Shizuru only smiled back. Nu hugs, no kisses, just a smile. But that smile was the reason Natsuki still wanted Shizuru who was now walking out of her life once again.

As Shizuru got in her limousine with Nao on her side, she looked at the shady silhouette of a gorgeous slim body one last time.

_I will stop loving you Natsuki. I'll the day world grows flowers in December._

_

* * *

  
_

Natsuki turned around to the noisy club, a pair of gray-blue dilated pupils staring at her. Natsuki wasn't happy in the slightest. She had never thought of A'dee as her girlfriend, not that she ever thought of any woman like that, but she cared for the platinum blonde and it pissed her off whenever the model came in contact with drugs. She wanted A'dee off the damn thing, and had her promise too but tonight showed her once again never to trust a junkie.

''Come on let me take you home Ade.'' Natsuki said.

''What is that woman to you exactly?'' The girl ignored Natsuki's previous comment.

''Who?'' Natsuki knew well, who A'dee was talking about but still acted the dumb.

''You know damn well who! Shizuru! What is she to you!'' the girl yelled this time, brushing off Natsuki's arm which was trying to hold her.

''Pull your shit together A'dee. You're causing a scene with your tripping!''

''Yeah blame it on the drugs but not the reasons why I shoot up!''

''What are your reasons then?'' Natsuki was confused.

''Whatever I'm leaving my ride is here.''

And with that the model rushed to the entrance and hoped on a black Massarati with another women behind the wheels. Natsuki didn't feel any anger, or emotions of such. She felt relieved if anything. She called for her assistant and told her only to disturb if something was really really important. Then she walked upstairs to her office, replaying the night over and over again in her mind.

She really wished to forget the past, and be with Shizuru. All would make sense after all if she had Shizuru in her life. She threw herself to her 'executive office chair' and fall deep in her thoughts. She thought on how it would be to have Shizuru in her life. They would explore the world together, go to exotic places Shizuru talked about 5 years ago, and eventually settle down in a nice house. Perhaps even parenthood?

_What kind of parents would we be...? What the fuck are you dreaming about! She would probably go fuck the nanny!_

It is a unfortunate thing about memories; one doesn't remember the long periods they spend with their loved ones, they remember moments, a specific scene that they carve into their minds depending on the emotion. Love for instance is a type of memory that fades in time whether we want it to or not, guilt on the other hand stays longer, but if there is one which never let's us forget; it is pain. Yet a funny fact about people is that we are born masochists. We always find ourselves running after the one thing or one person that has given or will give a pain that will forever change or changed our existence in life. So it was no surprise that the next thought Natsuki tried so hard to ignore was, even if she was in some prison, the walls which let non of the world come to her senses, she knew she would have the captivating image of Shizuru in her mind...

That night among many other, two souls went back in time. Remembering the old days. Not knowing that even memories can lie...


	8. Chapter 8

**TO MAKE IT UP FOR THE PREVIOUS SHORT CHAPTER HERE IS A LONGER ONE! I KNOW YOU ALL WANT TO LEARN ABOUT THE INCIDENT* AND YOU WILL KNOW EVERYTHING IN THE NEXT CHAPTER ^^ THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN FOR EVERY COMMENT! I JUMP IN JOY WHENEVER I GET A NEW REVIEW ^^**

If you're in pursuit of top-quality sushi on any given day, your search would eventually bring you here, considered by some to be one of the best sushi bars in town; Sushi-ko of Tokyo. There is no written menu and and the counter seats 11 customers only. Among 8 people who were occupying those seats was a Raven haired slim beauty, her eyes showing emotions of worry. She couldn't sleep last night until she finally decided to show up at the promised dinner between her friend and her, well let's just say Shizuru. And now that she had showed up 45 minutes earlier she was thinking of excuses and reasons why she was there, none seemingly any good. She didn't want Shizuru to realize she couldn't get a grip on her self, and rather than staying at the second night of her club, she was ditching work just like she used to ditch classes to get a final glimpse of the chestnut haired woman.

_Well, I still have time till they come. They said 9 right. Was it 9? Was it Sushi-ko? What if they went somewhere else? They couldn't though this is the only place that repents any paparazzi within the restaurant radius, so Shizuru would pick here. What exactly are you gonna say Natsuki? Umm hey guys I changed my mind the second I heard Shizuru coming? Or Oh!Hey guys I know it's probably the second busiest day of my club but guess what I don't give a damn?! God I hate that woman!_

''I hate you!'' Natsuki muttered to herself.

''Ara Ara... Hate is a strong word Natsuki, do not use it so casually... It cheapens my memories.''

Natsuki froze as the chestnut slowly sit next to her smiling, one of her rare ones.

''Shizuru...! Oh...Hi...I decided to come after Mai's excruciating phone calls.'' Natsuki lied. Her phone hadn't rung all day which had also pissed Natsuki. Why hadn't Mai tried to convince her like she always would.

''I'm glad you did.'' Shizuru smiled back. But this smile was one Natsuki thought rarest, it was the same one Shizuru would have whenever on rare occasions Natsuki dropped her head on Shizuru's shoulders. And the reason behind such a smile was a piece of information Shizuru knew and Natsuki did not. Earlier this morning Mai had called and apologized to Shizuru, saying she will not make it to tonight's dinner because it turned out she had too much to drink last night. And the two had delayed the dinner to two days later. Shizuru not feeling in the mood to party or anything else had decided to go and have a sushi night all by herself. And the minute she had walked in, she was shaken to her core.

''I can't believe I've been in Tokyo so long and never set a foot here.'' Shizuru said, getting comfortable at her chair.

''Yea, you missed some good sushi.'' Natsuki replied.

''Well, what do you suggest we have Natsuki? I shall let you take in charge of tonight's menu.''

The perfume oozing from Shizuru made it hard for Natsuki to concentrate, but she tried her best and ordered her favorite rolls and Shizuru's as well.

''I'm surprised you remembered my choices in sushi.'' Shizuru said her brows raising in surprise.

''You make it hard for a person not to remember with the barbaric face you used to put while eating you're favorites.'' Natsuki teased. It was a little fact not known by many that whenever Shizuru Fujino had her favorite rolls in front of her, at a table with her loved one, she would totally loose her composure and eat like a maniac in joy.

This time it was Shizuru's turn to blush.

''Well then I will disappoint you when I say I've learned how to eat sushi properly these past years-like a normal person.'' She smirked, the blush still there.

''I'm glad. This is a top class sushi place you know. People know me here. Wouldn't wanna be in tabloids next a horrid composure like that.''

And the two gave a little laugh. Oh how gladly Shizuru would be one of Natsuki Kuga's one night stands that she always saw on tabloids. Even one night with Natsuki would be more than enough...

And the rolls arrived, looking like the most exquisite delicacies in the world. Shizuru couldn't help but stare at them as a wolf stares to a sheep.

''My God you didn't learn at all! Here it is! The same face!''' Natsuki exclaimed with half a smile and half astonishment.

''It's not my fault. These are much better than those I worked on my composure with.'' Shizuru said like a little kid which took Natsuki as a surprise. After all those years of becoming the uttermost coolest woman in Tokyo, all it needed was a friend by her side and good quality sushi to change her into a giggling young girl she once was.

''Alright I know they're good but hold your horses. Mai would be mad if we started without her.''

''Oh, let me call her then.'' Shizuru said with a smile, knowing pretty well Mai was sleeping in her bed. She reached for her blackberry cell phone and pushed on a single speed dial number, in seconds she was talking to a half asleep Mai. Shizuru knew very well the girl wouldn't make sense of the conversation but give automatic responses like she always did when she picked up the phone while sleeping.

_Speed dial eh. Those two apparently talk to each other- a lot... Damn Mai you could have mentioned her from time to time!_

''Oh well it's shame. Get better soon sweety. I'll drop by at your place tomorrow morning. Plus we have things to talk about as you may imagine.''

_Drop by at your place? Shizuru knows where Mai lives and been there before?! But we never, I mean, I never bumped in to her. And what is that exactly they will be talking about. Fuck. Whatever..._

''Something wrong?'' asked Natsuki.

''Unfortunately our friend had too many shots at your club and now she claims she has a fever too. But I'm sure she will get well since Tate returns tomorrow.''

''Oh right. Those two are some annoying couple let me tell you.'' Natsuki shrugged. The image of lovely-dovely inseparable duo flashing in her mind.

_Disgusting how two very normal person can turn into a, into a... Damn I can't even find an adjective to describe their annoyingness. Would we be like that Shizuru?_

Two women returned to their sushis, in silence. Yet if you happened to walk by with a thermal camera in your hands, and aimed it inside the restaurant, you would look at your screen to find two head to toe red figures. Does such a red even exist you would then say in amazement and keep on walking. Yes, however calm from the outside both seem to be, in reality they were trembling. None knew what to do or to talk about after all those years, and none thought they would get a chance like this either so it's no surprise both were caught off guarded.

''How is the movie going? Action was it?''

''No. That's just to stir things up with the media. It's a romantic drama actually. And it is going much better than I anticipated.''

''Oh. What's the story?''

''The same as every drama; love.''

''Oh cool.''

Natsuki didn't dare to ask anything further about the movie, since she couldn't look at Shizuru's face any more. The woman was gorgeous and every cell in Natsuki's body signaled a confirmation to her thoughts. The amazing thing was that Shizuru didn't have to try to look gorgeous, she was blessed that way by creation. The woman standing next to Natsuki only wore a designer jean, black shirt and a black patent leather heels. Around her neck stood a black and white light weight spring scarf and her hair was once again a pony tail. Natsuki rarely ever saw the woman in ponytail, but now it seemed ponytail was her new style. Well she wasn't going to object, if anything it showed the chestnut haired beauty's smooth porcelain neck. If only that damn scarf wasn't on the way!

''It's about a woman. Who falls in love at a young age, but the love ends bitter. Then many years after, she receives an invitation which turns out to be her old lover's. So she decides to have road trip down to the wedding and plans to stop it, rescue the bride and so on. It's mostly about the encounters she has during the roadt-''

''Bride?!?!? Are you saying that you'll be playing a lesbian?!'' Natsuki spurted out her sake, looking in astonishment.

''Ara Natsuki if you haven't realized so far, I prefer the X chromosome to any Y chromosome.'' Shizuru laughed at Natsuki's blush.

''Yeah I know that! But you're like the super star of Japan! I don't think it would be appropriate would it?!''

''Well first of all I'm flattered that you think of me as a super star.''

And an instant blush by Natsuki.

''Secondly, the polls actually shows that Japanese men would go crazy to see me intimate with a woman, and well the women think the same as well, even more than the men. It will be risky, but I think I can pull it. Who knows... My crew thinks it will even my triple my worth.''

_Yeah, I agree with the Japanese men and women. It would drive us crazy to see you. And that is the sole reason I will not even watch the trailer._

''Hope the calculations turn out to be right then.'' Natsuki surrendered.

''Why thank you Nat-su-ki.'' The girl smiled but her smile was erased instantly when the Raven gave the woman a cold stare.

''Don't call me like that Shizuru.''

''Sorry. Didn't mean to. Old habits die hard I guess.'' Shizuru was hurt, but she kept looking at Raven's face not knowing what to do. She hold up one hand and put it on Natsuki's back. Man was that a mistake.

The switch in Natsuki's mind had gone one little innocent comment had changed everything for Natsuki Kuga. It represented her hopes, her love, her trust which were all betrayed. That one word by Shizuru exploded in Natsuki's mind.

''Well kill them already!'' and with that fierce line, Natsuki shot up her sake and pushed away Shizuru's hand. That calling had stirred up and rushed memories that she didn't want to remember. She didn't want to hear the lying sweet voice of Shizuru. She didn't want those hand's touch that had betrayed her with another body.

''This dinner was a mistake. Goodnight.'' Natsuki threw all her cash on the counter and got up rushing out the door.

What had just happened Shizuru did not understand. What was the reason behind Natsuki's anger and hatred she couldn't figure out. Those emerald eyes had the same look they had five years ago. And Shizuru didn't understand the sudden change back then either. She had cried on the door of Natsuki Kuga asking why was she so mad about and when the door was opened all she got was a hard slap on her face and a scream of horrendous curses and hatred. Back then Shizuru had thought she had crossed the line, while trying to make Natsuki love her she had only made Natsuki hate her. And when Natsuki yelled that she didn't want to see or hear the voice of her for the rest of her life, Shizuru had got up from her knees and walk away. Never to be seen or heard just like Natsuki's wish. She traveled for 3 years. But her success in Europe had forced her to come to her home country and further her career, while always making sure too keep a distance from Natsuki Kuga.

But tonight after 5 years, after seeing Natsuki with so many women Shizuru thought maybe she could have a slight chance after all. Maybe after five years she would be the person Natsuki desired. And the last 48 hours had her believe that she might have a chance. But this, tonight, just crushed all her hopes. Shizuru's hopes were the only thing keeping her going in this life and she no longer had them...

Friedrich Nietzsche once said; _Hope_ in reality is the worst of all evils, because it prolongs the torments of man. And that same hope had prolonged Shizuru's torment for five years. But the thing about losing your hopes is that one fears nothing anymore. When you loose what you always wanted, you go after them screaming for a explanation of where you did wrong. And so did Shizuru Fujino.

She jumped from her chair and dashed to the street to find Natsuki about to put on her helmet, cursing while doing so.

''Why! Just tell me fucking why Natsuki!''

''Why What?'' Natsuki was stunned when she saw the furious image of a chestnut, breathing from her nose fiercely. Her crimson eyes burning, ready to burst like a volcano.

''Why the fuck am I never good enough for you! Why! Why do you detest me so much! Even all those people that fucking tried to kill you in the past, you hold no grunge! Why is it only me!'' tears were running down as if they were waiting for this moment for five years. In a second Shizuru's whole face was wet from tears.

''BECAUSE THEY FAILED TO KILL ME! BUT YOU SUCCEED!'' Natsuki shouted throwing her helmet toward the chestnut. The helmet hit Shizuru from her right arm but no change in her stance appeared, even if Natsuki threw human sized rocks she wouldn't be able to move the determined Shizuru Fujino.

With her scream Natsuki fell on her knees, her tears made their way down, and however much she protested it she couldn't stop them.

''I killed you?'' Shizuru's mind was blank and all she could do was repeat the Raven's words. Her brain cells digging up every memory of the past five years searching for a scene where Shizuru held a knife in one hand and Natsuki's body on the other. But such a scene never existed. She had never killed Natsuki. What the hell was going on?

''What are you talking about Natsuki? What killing? I've never done anything besides loving you God damn it!''

''LIAR! STOP! STOP LYING! I FORGIVE YOU OKAY! JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF MY LIFE!''

With those words Shizuru had a dejavu, and to her surprise she was furious this time. She wasn't gonna go anywhere unless she had her answers. She took five steps and pulled Natsuki from her arm.

''Not this time! I have never done anything to ask forgiveness for! Yes I have killed for you and I don't regret one bit of it. YES I HAVE LOVED YOU! SO MUCH THAT WILL MAKE MY SOUL BURN IN HELL BUT I DON'T EVEN ASK FOR GOD'S FORGIVENESS AND YOU SAY YOU FORGIVE ME! FOR WHAT?!'' She shouted the last line at the top of her lungs. She didn't care that there were people watching them, she didn't care that cars had stopped to get glimpse of what was going on, after all wasn't that the famous top model, screaming and crying at the same time?

Natsuki's eyes were wide in anger. How could Shizuru still play dumb. She opened her mouth to scream back but only a couple words in whisper came out instead.

''I heard you that day Shizuru... I heard her fucking you...'' Shizuru's hands let go of the girl and the Raven collapsed to the street, tears still coming down.

''What fucking Natsuki. What the hell are you talking about?'' Shizuru said in a low voice as well. Was this a joke?

''The day before you ran away for good. I came to your room, only this time I didn't knock...''


	9. Chapter 9

**SORRY FOR THE DELAY... I KNOW YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING TO LEARN WHAT THE INFAMOUS MISUNDERSTANDING WAS. WELL, HERE IT IS :) IT TURNED OUT TO BE A LONG CHAPTER, BUT I DON'T THINK YOU'LL OBJECT. I ALSO KNOW YOU'LL KILL ME FOR MAKING IT HEART BREAKING ONCE AGAIN BUT NEXT CHAPTER YOU'LL BE OUT OF YOUR MISERY ^^ THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN FOR THE LOVELY COMMENTS. I CAN'T THANK YOU GUYS ENOUGH!**

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_Approximately 5 years ago..._

Some nights you would find yourself looking at the beautiful sky and think to you self what a mesmerizing sight it is. Little that you'd know is that from time to time God would especially paint the sky so bright for only two people probably far away from you.

''Fujino-sama there is a girl waiting for you downstairs.''

''Oh! Ara... She is early again.''

The petite girl that had informed Shizuru of the call looked stunned when Shizuru Fujino turned around to face her. The chestnut gorgeous looked like a Japanese deity with her white kimono, and red floral patterns jumping as if they were real to captivate your gaze. Her hair sported a French twist and a long, side-swept bang, her make up barely visible since she didn't need any extra effort from any paint. She quickly walked down to her dormitory gates to find Natsuki Kuga fidgeting, walking up and down by herself.

''Don't tell me you came with your bike Natsuki!'' Shizuru exclaimed her eyes wide.

''How am I supposed to ride on that thing with a kimono!''

Natsuki couldn't answer, her gaze locked on the beautiful woman in front of her, her heart beat which was already beating rather fast had climaxed. In a few moments I'll probably die of a heart attack she thought to herself and oh well it wouldn't be a bad death at all.

''Oh. Shizuru. I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd wear a kimono.''

''I thought invitations made it clear that it was a necessity for women to wear a kimono Natsuki, but if you think yourself as my cavalry for the night I'm sure they would give you a free pass.''

''It's my father's cocktail Shiz. I don't have to abide any rules. I wouldn't even go if that sleeze ball hadn't act before me and begged to you.''

''Ara ara... Guess he knows my Natsuki's soft spot then?'' Shizuru smiled devilishly. And an instant blush by Natsuki Kuga.

''Just hop on!'' Kuga said knitting her brows.

''Natsuki, I love you. Very much in fact that I would do almost anything for you. But once again I'm stressing that 'almost everything'-and hoping on a Ducati with a kimono is not one of them. Lets not look like a biker couple ready to crash a party shall we? Just for tonight let us be an elegant couple attending a very nice cocktail. Please?''

Let us be an elegant couple attending a very nice cocktail... This last sentence had caused Natsuki's heart to skip a beat. Yes she was waiting for tonight all week, since she had decided to blurt out all her feelings for Shizuru and jump on her arms to get the fierce kiss she longed for so long. With that sentence Shizuru had uttered yet again so casually Natsuki decided to really* act like a couple.

_Well, what can be wrong with that right? I mean I love her, damn did I fall hard for her actually, and well she loves me too. So I guess I can really make it look like a real date, like we really are a couple. Man is tonight gonna be stressful for my heart._

''You're right. It's my bad. Let me call in for a car, I'm sure dad already has one on a stand by around here.''

Natsuki's reply had caused Shizuru a little shock which she didn't show from outside. This was the first time Natsuki ditched love of her life Ducati and actually decided to ride on four wheels. The woman walked down the remaining steps and slowly got closer to Natsuki who was now talking on the phone. Shizuru put her body weight on Natsuki's bike and stood next to the Raven. She then raised her hands and slowly play with the dark hair locks of the girl. Of course Natsuki had noticed this but unlike before she let Shizuru continue, concentrating harder on her phone talk.

''Something about you is different tonight...'' Shizuru whispered, her comment not heard by the Raven.

* * *

The cocktail took place at the garden of Kuga Manson, Natsuki's dad was more than delighted to have her daughter attend and he made sure Shizuru knew of his gratitude. The moment Shizuru Fujino and Natsuki Kuga walked in all eyes turned for them. Oh what a glamorous couple that was, Shizuru walking right next to Natsuki, and the Raven holding her right arm behind the chestnut beauty's back, right above her bottom to be specific. Though Natsuki's hand was hanging in the air with no physical touch Shizuru felt a burning sensation radiating from that spot all through the night.

It was two hours later and the couple had talked to every person attending. Shizuru was now surrounded by 6, and Natsuki had ran away with an excuse to get them drinks.

''So Ms. Fujino, what do you think of it? Do you agree?''

Fujino's attention turned back to the woman talking with her. She hadn't been paying attention to the topic so she had no idea to what she would agree. She had been silently watching the slim dark haired girl in delight while the girl had a hard time to communicate with the bartender.

''How would you define the perfect woman. Besides the babbling of old fools I'd really like to know what you think.'' the woman smiled warmly.

Shizuru turned back to look at the emerald eyes she loved so much answered without a thought.

''I do not believe there could be such a definition. A woman, unlike men, never resembles another.''

There was a little laugh among the group.

''But I can tell you how a special women makes you feel... She aches your heart the way Mozart did with his Requiem Mass in D Minor. She makes you weep like Samuel Osborne Barber does with his String for Adagio. She fills you with serenity like Éric Alfred Lesli Satie's Gymnopédies. She seduces you the way Paganini and his Caprice No. 24 does...'' her gaze broke away from Natsuki, unable to finish her sentence, she took a little sip from her now finished champagne.

''What about the way she loves, or make you feel love?''

A low but clear, different and much younger voice asked from behind, whom had been listening to Shizuru attentively. The crimson eyes turned to the owner of the voice to find a pair of beautiful light blue eyes hiding behind her long black hair that looked like the most precious silk under the moon light.

''That I'm afraid I do not know...'' Shizuru smiled warmly at the figure now in front of her.

''Ah Lia-chan I'm glad you came. Fujino-san this is my niece Lia.''

''Pleased to meet you.'' Shizuru said holding out her hand. But the minute the other girl's hand touched hers, Shizuru felt a shiver down her spine. The other girl not letting go of her gaze, smiled just a little, holding on to her cool composure.

''Pleased to meet you as well.'' It was an angelic and warm voice, contradicting her cool appearance.

''Oh. You and Lia-chan are in the same University Fujino-san.'' said the elder woman, smiling as she took a sip of her drink.

Shizuru was the first to break away from the gaze, as she turned to the elder woman with a playful smile on her face.

'' And here I was thinking I knew every face in my school. I'm surprised I've never seen your beautiful daughter before.''

The girl didn't react to Shizuru's compliment but her aunt gave out a little giggle in response.

''Oh, she was in Europe, she just got back this week. I hoped to count on you Fujino-san to take care of my niece. She has so much to catch up to.''

''I'd be delighted to do so-''

''What are you delighted for?''

The voice had obvious irritation in it.

''Oh Natsuki.'' Shizuru was surprised to find the Raven haired girl right behind. Natsuki just handed over Shizuru's drink while taking away the empty glass and tossing towards the maid passing by. She had a face that asked for answers. Natsuki's brows had somewhat came closer to each other, her right brow slightly higher than her left. It was the first time Shizuru saw jealousy in those emerald eyes, and man was she delighted.

Shizuru introduced the two girl with each other, both shook hands but Natsuki looked like a 9 year old kid, whose mother had forced her to be nice. And like many 9 year olds who doesn't like forced friendships, Natsuki had a childish stubborn face while shaking hands with Lia.

''Fujino-san, can I talk to you for a moment.''

''Of course. What is it?''

''Alone if possible.''

Shizuru as much as Natsuki was surprised by Lia's request.

''Go. I'll be over there.'' said Natsuki and looked elsewhere, acting as if she didn't give damn.

* * *

The two girl walked along the garden, passing everyone else in silence. Shizuru looked at the girl next to her from head to toe. Lia suited her tastes rather well, and if they had met a long time ago, preferably before Natsuki Kuga, Shizuru would have taken advantage of this situation. She smiled at her inner comments. It seemed just like today's understanding of time, date and calendar, Shizuru had her own. Only hers didn't have any Jesus in it, it was before Natsuki Kuga and after Natsuki Kuga.

''Is it alright if I call you Shizuru-san?''

''Well it was rather unfair for me to call you by your first name and you by my last. Please, Shizuru it is.''

They sat silently on a bank near a little pond in Kuga mansion. Lia turned to face those crimson eyes, and Shizuru noticed it had pain in them. The same pain she hid for so long, was now in front of her. So this is how I look when I'm alone she thought to herself.

''Shizuru-san the reason I asked to talk with you is because I don't think I can ask for anybody else's advice but yours. It may be rude for me to say, but I know everything there is to be known about you. Your loyalty to the Kuga family and especially your affection towards the Kuga daughter.''

''Ara ara.. Somebody has done her homework. But I still wonder what it is you want to know. I do not like it when people involve my Natsuki, Lia-san.''

''No! You understood me wrong. I'm sorry. It is not easy for me to talk about this, since... Since I've been keeping it a secret in me for so long. You see, I have some one that I'd do anything for. My miserable existence has become a torture I can not bear anymore. I just.. I just want to know how you bear it.''

The light blue eyes now had tears in them, and they shined bright under the moonlight.

''The moment I started walking on my two feet, my family thought of me as an adult. I was raised with much love but no physical affection. For years I grew up with an inner child that never had the chance to come into the light, even I didn't know it existed. I was tutored at home, so I didn't have much experience of the outer world, but I knew the girls of our social circle had a nickname for me; Ice Queen. The day I heard it, I was full of ignorant confidence, I was proud to be resembled to Ice. That was how I learned from my parents... Until she came... Four years ago, my father informed me that I would have my high school education through home-tutoring as well, and my History teacher would be a woman named Sugiuramai.''

''Sugiuramai! You mean Midori Sugiuramai?!''

''Yes. All the people in my life always saw me as an adult, they acted as if I was an adult. She, on the other hand was the only one who never regarded me as one. I remember clearly the day she walked in to my room, her hair red as fire, walking towards me and giving me a hug babbling about how it was a long drive. Patting me on the head like I was a little kid. It was the first time I had physical contact with anyone. It was my first hug...'' The girl had a faint smile on her face.

'' At first I was furious, I was mad, I would go to my room and curse in my luck for having such a manner-less teacher. But in time I realized I was studying History more than my other classes, just so that I can earn her appreciation. And I did, she praised me to my parents all the time. Then I realized I wanted more than her praise, I wanted her attention, not my family's, not my social surrounding's, only hers. I wanted to be with her, because when I was with her I would laugh with my heart, I would not take this world so seriously. I learned that I can take pleasure from this life, I can find affection which I clearly yearned for. I'm sorry, I'm babbling. What I'm trying to say is that Midori-sama changed everything in me, but unfortunately she changed too much. In time I found myself madly in love. I followed her almost everywhere, she asked for my family's approval in taking me as her intern, and my parents approved in delight. I've spent my last two years, next to her all over the world, especially in Europe. I've learned how Romans fell in love in Italy, and how the Greeks died for love in Athens. Right between Rome and Athens, I realized how love had turned into torture for me. I came back and enrolled in this University just because she chose to be a professor there. But when I saw her, the first day of school, with her students, my life shattered. I realized I was only one of her students, she talked to them the same way she did to me, she smiled, she laughed and most painful she even hugged them the same. So I ran. I ran back to Europe, I did everything I can to forget. But I.. But I couldn't!''

The girl in tears fell to Shizuru's chest, sobbing like crazy. Shizuru held the girl tight.

''S-.. So- You.. have to- tell me.'' The girl said in between her sobbings.

Shizuru's eyes searched for the Raven, but she failed. She turned her head back to the crying girl in her arms, her chin resting on the crying girl's head.

''I do not resist the pain. I do not run away from it. But don't think all very mighty of me. You and I however much we may try, we will never pass the point of selfishness. We can never be those lovers who sacrifice and let go. We linger, we cling, not letting go. I know Natsuki doesn't love me, but still my heart screams with joy whenever she shows a bit of compassion. Of course the only reason behind her compassion is due to the fact that I've been next to her for so long. In time people show affection to what they become accustomed to, and that is merely out of habit. Who wouldn't stroke a dog that has been walking next to them for years...''

''So there is no hope?''

''Oh no no! Do not put yourself in my situation Lia. Having no hope is the best medicine, because tomorrow you'll have nothing to loose when you walk up to Midori and tell her how you feel...''

''I can't!''

''Why? Afraid you'll loose her? It seems to me by running away, you already lost her. Even if you go to Antarctica, believe me when I say you'll feel the very existence of your love right next to you. Just go and tell her how you feel. You may be surprised.''

''But.. Tomorrow? It's so soon.''

''Four years was not long enough?'' Shizuru said smiling, Lia lifted her head up, erased her tears with her hand and smiled back.

''Thank you Shizuru-san.''

''I think -san would be insincere after this talk. Eh Lia?

The girl just gave out a little laugh, then both girls rose up to their feet and walked back to the party. They talked some more, about unimportant things like the world affairs, Japan's economy and such. Lia soon left the party with her aunt, promising Shizuru to inform her of tomorrow's outcome. Shizuru smiled back waved goodbye and walked towards the bar. As she took another glass of champagne she heard someone playing the piano inside the house, in a few moments her feet directed her towards the melody. There was a little crowd, but when a couple of bodies moved Shizuru caught a glance of a figure she knew very well. It was Natsuki playing, her eyes closed, she knitting very hard as if she was trying to forget something by playing. Shizuru walked closer, and when she reached to the first line of the crowd she realized something. The windows showed a garden near the pond, and one little deck chair, the same place Shizuru and Lia sat couple minutes ago. Shizuru quickly turned her face back to Natsuki, to find the two emerald eyes staring at her. And with that gaze Natsuki fiercely pushed on her final notes and stood up, claps in cheers filling the room.

''Beautifully played Natsuki.'' Shizuru said smiling, she handed over her drink to Natsuki since the girl seemed to be in sweat.

''Thank you. Ready to leave yet?''

''Sure.'' Shizuru said, failing to notice the anger in Natsuki's voice. The two bid their goodbyes, Natsuki's dad hugged Shizuru four times due to his alcohol consumption. Therefore Natsuki blushed constantly, she then captured Shizuru's hand and forced the two break away from their fifth hug. Girls walked to their car, still holding hands which only increased Natsuki's blush. As the car rolled out of the mansion the hands had parted their hold.

* * *

First stop was Shizuru's dormitory gates, and the car slowed down in front of the entrance.

''Well thank your father for a delightful evening will you?'' Shizuru said smiling.

''Yeah. But I think you already did with all those hugs.'' Natsuki snapped.

''Ara.. Well, goodnight my Natsuki.''

''Hold on a sec. What did that girl want?''

''Who? Lia?''

''So you already use your first names? This was fast even for you Shizuru.''

''I have my reasons...''

''And what are those?''

''Has my dreams come true and you are by a slight chance jealous Natsuki?''

''What if I am?''

''Ara Ara.. Then I would have to invite you to my room to make my many other dreams to come true.'' Shizuru said smiling devilishly, yet putting up an innocent face.

Natsuki's face was bright red, probably more bright than of the sun's. She felt her blood clotting in her veins.

''Baka!'' was all she could say. With the familiar response Shizuru gave a little laugh and leaned towards the emerald eyes. She could see the Raven trembling but she didn't care. After all she had already confessed her love to Natsuki many times, and there was no change in their relationship, and Shizuru felt there would be none till the end of time. With the alcohol running through her veins, Shizuru took confidence. All she wanted was a single kiss and they could go back to the way they were for another couple of years if Natsuki wanted. But a kiss was a necessity for Shizuru to keep her sanity.

Shizuru's lower lip brushed to Natsuki's higher. The Raven unable to move, just looked at the crimson pair in front of her. Shizuru surprised to find Natsuki still and not screaming or pushing, leaned closer this time for a full kiss. Natsuki felt the soft warm lips she yearned for so long, forcing hers to open. She didn't put any resistance, her lips parted to let in the warmth. Shizuru surprised and scared, could no longer look at the emerald eyes. She closed her eye lids, feeling guilty, yet not letting go of their kiss. It was these lips that jolted shots of bolts in Shizuru's spine, it was this kiss Shizuru remembered from a year ago. Shizuru wouldn't regret one second of her life if God had taken her life this instant... They could both feel their body's need for air, but they ignored the call till their last strength. It was Shizuru who broke away the kiss, she took heavy deep breaths, she could feel her arms trembling. A rush of emotions filled her and a single tear followed.

''I'm sorry.'' she uttered in whisper.''Goodnight Natsuki...''

Natsuki stood perplexed when she saw the single tear in Shizuru's eyes. The moment she reached to brush away the tear, Shizuru had turned her back to Natsuki and opened the car door. She had got out, gave a final glimpse inside the car but couldn't see anything from the black windows.

* * *

_Why didn't I ran after her? Why didn't I stop her from leaving? Why did I just sat there like an idiot while she cried! She cries because of you! She has been crying because of you! What right do you have to be in her life this way! And you love her! IF YOU FUCKING LOVE HER THEN JUST SAY THAT YOU LOVE HER! PUT BOTH OF YOU OUT OF MISERY FOR GOD'S SAKE!_

With her final thoughts she threw the cup she was holding. It was an action done without thought, and when Natsuki realized what she had done she let out a little scream and ran towards the cup that was now shattered to pieces by the wall. She picked up the pieces one by one and held them dearly in her palm. It was a present from Shizuru, she had come by one night unexpected, knowing how hard Natsuki was studying for her finals, she held two cups and a fresh ground coffee. It was a night Natsuki never forgot. While she studied Shizuru had laid down on her bed and gradually drifted in to a sweet slumber. By dawn Natsuki had opened her eyes to find herself sleeping next to Shizuru. She remembered looking at the chestnut girl while studying and deciding on giving a little break. That little break had turned into a two hour sleep with her arms around Shizuru. When the girl woke up and realized her position she had smiled warmly. She could see Shizuru sleeping peacefully unaware of their situation, well Natsuki knew Shizuru wasn't aware of her grip because if she was then she would have taken advantage of the situation long ago... After that day Natsuki only drank her coffee from that mug. Their sweet slumber always in her mind. And tonight with the shattered pieces in her palms Natsuki gave her back to her partner in crime wall and drifted to a sleep, when she wake up she would run to Shizuru, confess everything and spend a lifetime drinking morning coffee from the hands of her love.

* * *

Bright rays of sun forced Shizuru's eyelids to open. She looked around to find herself lyring on her couch with her kimono on.

_Oh my, I should really quit drinking. _

Last night flashed in front of her eyes and Shizuru jumped from her couch with the image of Natsuki's lips. She touched her own for confirmation. Yes she had kissed Natsuki.

_I wonder how Natsuki is. You have crossed the line this time Shizuru, you'll be lucky if she even talks to you from now on. God are you brainless or what! Well I have school today so I won't know whether she wants me out of the country for another 5 days._

She slowly stripped out of her kimono, walking to her bathroom. A cold shower was what her body screamed for.

_Better look at my passport and check my visas. _

She let out a sigh and threw herself to face the cold water. However cold the water may be, the image of Natsuki's lips caused only heat in Shizuru's body. One could swear there was steam coming out of the bathroom.

Shizuru had changed into comfortable jeans and a white shirt, walked to the near by campus café and grabbed a caramel frappuccino. She sat down deep in thoughts as her eyes wondered among the university students rushing off to their classes, all glancing her way for a second before running off. O single silhouette though was rushing towards her, and the moment the figure yelled her name Shizuru's mind jumped back to reality.

''Shizuru!''

All faces in the café turned to look at the girl screaming Fujino-san's name, her first name without the honorifics. It was a big gossip in the making, who was this girl Fujino-san had smiled in return. What was their relationship?!

''Shizuru! I've been looking all over for you!'' the girl stopped to regain her breath, she obviously wasn't accustomed to running.

''Oh Lia. Good morning to you to.'' Shizuru said smiling, and a slight irritation arouse from the gossip clouds behind her.

''Whatever you have to say just hold it. I don't want your precious memories you're about to blurt out on the school tabloids tomorrow. Let's walk to my room.'' Shizuru said and rose up to her feet. The girl smiled, her mouth reaching her ears.

''Ara ara... What's the best way to start a day but with a love story that succeeds.'' she said as the girl giggled in response. It was different girl walking next to Shizuru, there wasn't even a single resemble to the one crying last night Shizuru thought.

_Guess love does make one happy after all... How envious..._

The two walked up to Shizuru's dormitory, all eyes on them. It seemed gossip traveled in nano seconds in this university. Shizuru sighed in relief when she closed the door of her room.

''Now, tell me all about it.'' She said as she walked to her cookie jar and teapot.

And the girl started like a machine gun...

''...And then! And then I just stood there frozen shocked by my own confession! She grabbed me smiling and said _**Acta non verba! **__( Action not words! )_And kissed me! In front of every student! Of course after that we hold a grip on our selves, walked out and talked a bit. Actually calling it a talk would be wrong since it was more like her scolding me for what a fool I was for not confessing earlier and how she had waited for me in the garden all day first day of the school to confess and never had that chance since she later learned I was gone. Oh God did I reach the heavens then. Thank you Shizuru thank you so much!''

Shizuru had listened to the whole story by heart, attentively, even from time to time holding her breath. She then let out a warm smile. She could see the girl's sky blue eyes shining brightly and it gave joy to her heart. Midori was her favorite teacher and a close friend as a matter of fact, and this girl whom she had met only a night ago already held a special place in her heart now.

''I'm sincerely happy to see you like this Lia. And to think you were spending your time in pointless misery...''

* * *

Natsuki woke up with a jump. The alarm clock in her mind reminded her of the time. Without further thought she jumped to shower and got changed, in minutes she was running towards the university. Shizuru's daily program carved in her mind, Natsuki knew the girl would be in her World Politics class. And the minute she walked out she was going to find Natsuki jumping to her arms. Natsuki ran faster in excitement, ignoring the guard standing next to the entrance she jumped to the campus grounds and dashed towards the Faculty. When she reached the Faculty gates she stopped, catching her breath. She slowly made her way to the lecture hall and halted when she reached her destination. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she heard the professor ending the lecture. Natsuki was shaking uncontrollably. One by one the students got out but none fitted the description in Natsuki's mind. She peeked into the lecture hall to notice Shizuru wasn't among the remaining students. She walked up to a brunette handsome boy and touched his arm. The boy turned to find a beautiful dark haired girl, her cheeks bright pink.

''Umm Sorry, do you know where I can find Shizuru Fujino?'' a pair of emerald eyes asked.

''Ano... Fujino-san didn't come to class today, sorry I have no idea.'' The guy said in disappointment, it was always Shizuru Fujino but never him. Damn that woman was lucky.

''Hey did you just say Shizuru?!'' another boy jumped in with a huge grin. Natsuki was irritated with his lack of honorifics.

''Dude you won't believe the latest gossip! Takami just text me during class. It seems our Hime has has finally picked a flower of her taste!'' and the boy gave out a laugh.

''Picked a flower?What? Do you know where she is?'' Natsuki turned to the blond shorter boy with greater irritation in her glare.

''Oh yeah! She was seen with a gorgeous girl walking to her room. Takami said he saw with his own two eyes! Hime actually invited someone in her room! Dude would I wish to witness what's going on behind those walls right now!''

Natsuki froze, her mind shut.

''Who is the girl?'' the brunette boy asked in surprise.

''Oh she is some transfer student or something like that. The girls dug her past quickly and they said she was enrolled but wasn't seen in school till today, apparently she was away in Europe and today is her first day. You can guess the waves of jealousy among the school. It's her first day and she is getting down with Hime! Ahahaha! Takami said Hime was sitting at the café when the girl came running and shouted Hime's first name without the honorifics. So caught everybody's attention as you may guess. But it turned out Hime didn't gave the cold shoulder to girl but instead she smiled and said, I quote; 'Lets go to my room' right away. So now everybody thinks they already had some kind of a steamy affair in Europe!''

Natsuki's senses came back to her slowly. At least one part of the boy's information was a lie. Shizuru had never been to Europe.

''Well dude the girl is pretty hot, from what they tell me. Finally some scandal! We have the hottest couple in the making right as we speak! This is history man!''

Natsuki didn't listen the rest, she found herself running out of the Faculty and towards the dormitory gates. It was a long distance but Natsuki didn't care, she felt her muscles burning, and her breath choking her but she kept running till she crashed into a body in front of her. She quickly regained her composure from the crash and returned to her run without a sorry. A pair of light blue eyes whom Natsuki had crashed into, looked at the running figure she had recognized from the night before. She threw the coffee she was holding since half of it was now on the ground. After leaving Shizuru's room she had a sudden urge to fill herself with caffeine as if the ecstasy from this morning was not enough. Though the thirty minute line waiting had killed all her urges. She looked back at the Raven and smiled warmly.

''Maybe your happy ending is close as well Shizuru...'' she muttered to herself and walked towards a Faculty where a single red haired woman was giving her lecture.

* * *

She stopped and looked up at the huge dormitory's top window, fear conquering all of her emotions. She slowly walked to the stairs, forcing her feet to take each step. Her body screamed her to run back to her room, her mind desperately wanting to confirm the awful lies.

_What if it is true. Would it really be a surprise Natsuki. She kept herself for you for so long, she is only human after all. But then it would mean that everything was a lie. Her kiss, her confession. It was only a lie! If she can so easily replace the love in her heart then.. then! She wouldn't! She loves you! She is the only person you have that truly loves you! She wouldn't betray you! Not after last night's kiss! Not that quickly, she hasn't even faced you, she would face you before doing something like that! She would tell you that she had enough. If she didn't, then this is just a lie, she has good reasons for having some bitch in her room! She wouldn't betray your relationship just like that!_

She stood in front of the familiar door, she raised her hand to knock, only to remember Shizuru's words of the contrary. She wasn't going to knock, and she didn't. She slowly opened the door in front of her, making absolutely no sound. Two cups were sitting on the table, evident of two people enjoying a tea together but the actors of this scene where not around. First Natsuki thought of calling Shizuru's name and stopped immediately when she heard a faint sound from deeper rooms of the suite. She took a step towards Shizuru's bedroom and another faint sound confirmed that there was something well and alive in that bedroom. Natsuki felt the whole world shatter, she felt million needles piercing her body, she took a few steps closer, the bedroom door now right in front of her, closed shut.

This time the sound was in form of a moan, a short one but full of emotion. Natsuki could hear the quick breathing of Shizuru in rhythmic ups and downs, she looked down at her hands and they were shaking terribly. Right then she heard Shizuru's voice in the form of a high pitch. This high pitch would never stop echoing from Natsuki's ears. She tasted her salty tears. The uncontrollable tears just poured down from Natsuki's eyes. She shook her head, she didn't want to experience this reality. She wanted to wake up! This was just a nightmare and she would wake up this instant!

Another high pitch from Shizuru and a sound of relief. With that Natsuki Kuga silently ran away from the scene, and she didn't stop until she reached her room. Then she fell on her knees and screamed her guts out, crying, sobbing and throwing whatever is close by...

At the climax of her cries Natsuki's cellphone started ringing, Natsuki gave a short glimpse and froze with the name shining from the screen. _Shizuru._ From that point Natsuki's memories are somewhat cloudy. She remembers answering the phone, yelling her guts out and swearing on the mere existence of the caller. She then remembers loud knocks on her door, more like Bangs rather than knocks. She remembers the crying and madly desperate voice of Shizuru Fujino, and Natsuki loosing the little control she had with the shameless voice at her door. She remembers opening the door fiercely and slapping the crying woman in front of her, slapping over and over again till the figure falls to her knees. After that everything blurs, she only remembers fragments of herself yelling some more, screaming to the other woman to go hell and never come back.

Natsuki remembers the other day clearly though, finding herself passed out on the floor. She remembers the pain in her heart clearly even today, the wound that would stay fresh cut for many years. Then she remembers no more, as she had slept for two days only to open her eyes for couple minutes. The third day she remembers her mind taking in charge, in auto pilot, shutting down Natsuki, and cleaning her room since everything was in pieces. She remembers holding her cellphone that was shattered to 6 pieces to be precise and throwing it to the garbage, never knowing the existence of 20 voice mails left by Shizuru Fujino. She remembers taking a shower and sleeping some more until her dear friend Mai broke the door to her room and rushed to the passed out body. Natsuki Kuga spent that week in the nursery, fed only by serums and baby food. On the fifth day in the nursery one morning, she heard of Shizuru's sudden departure. Shizuru had gone to Europe.

Natsuki Kuga's final tear made it's way down. And from that day on for five years she never shed another...

* * *


	10. Chapter 10

**SORRY TO KEEP YOU GUYS WAITING! FINALS AND PROJECTS... THERE ARE STILL SOME THINGS LEFT BUT IT LOOKS LIKE THE STORY WILL END IN THREE CHAPTERS OR SO... WELL I DON'T KNOW, WE'LL SEE... THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH FOR COMMENTS! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY I GET WHENEVER I READ ONE. THANKS TO YOU I LAUGH CONSTANTLY AND SMILE LIKE AN IDIOT ^^ **

**WITHOUT FURTHER AIDEU, I GIVE YOU NATSUKI KUGA AND SHIZURU FUJINO. HEHE ^^

* * *

**

''I heard you that day Shizuru... I heard her fucking you...'' Shizuru's hands let go of the girl and the Raven collapsed to the street, tears still coming down.

''What fucking Natsuki. What the hell are you talking about?'' Shizuru said in a low voice as well. Was this a joke?

''...Before you ran away for good. I came to your room, only this time I didn't knock...''

* * *

Shizuru's eyes widened in enlightenment. She was trembling uncontrollably.

''OH YOU DIDN'T YOU IDIOT! TELL ME YOU DIDN'T THROW AWAY EVERYTHING WE HAD JUST BEACUSE YOU HEARD ME MOANING!''

''WHAT ELSE DID YOU WANT ME TO WITNESS, YOUR SPREAD LEGS AND HER HEAD IN YOUR CROCTH!''

Shizuru trembled, her face fell down, tears running down. How could it be that simple. How could there be such a stupid thing that kept them away for five long years.

''You idiot! You moron! You! You-You imbecile! Did you actually think I would ever, EVER, CHEAT ON YOU?!''

Natsuki didn't expect this. She raised her head to face Shizuru who had fury and longing in her eyes... Natsuki didn't understand.

''Oh God you're gonna make me spell it aren't you! God what a brick head! I was...- Iwas masturbating you idiot! I was fantasizing about YOU FOR GOD'S SAKE!''

''But- But the boy said you let in that girl. The boy said you were-''

''What boy?! Lia left long before you supposedly came! I was overwhelmed with her love story which led me into thinking over about our kiss and when I started to replay our kiss in my mind I found myself- You know! Touching myself, and before I knew I was- oh God!- I had orgasms okay?! And then I just wanted to call you and talk to you about the kiss. But- But I can't believe you threw everything-''

Shizuru was cut of by a crying scream.

''DO YOU THINK I WANTED THIS?! Do you have any idea how I spent this five years Shizuru?! I had gift anxieties even though I knew I wouldn't be at your side on your birthdays! I bought a dog just because you once had a silly comment on how the fact that a dog can save your life from drowning, but a cat can't! Every Friday I spent watching the same god damn chick flick just because you loved it so much! You know how many Fridays that makes in five years?! I have never let any one, ANY ONE, cuddle me because I accidentally cuddled you one night studying, and you brought a whole new meaning to it! I turned into one of those lunatics, and read your horoscope every damn morning! I've sent birthday cards, anniversary cards, love letters, all to different unknown addresses around the world with your name written on it! I couldn't help myself from dreaming of a future with you all these five years! I swore my self to never make wisecracks when you scrape your tires against the curb while parallel parking if in case by some chance I could teach you how to ride once again. I stroke out the words like "hooters" and "fuck" from my vocabulary just because you scolded me every time I used them. Then those were the only words in my vocabulary left so that one day I would find you in front of me even if only to scold! I tried on new food, every week, just because you said all I ate was Mayo! Every morning I looked for my bike keys knowing full well where I left them the day before, just so your stupid ''Ara ara'' and your fucking comments on where I dropped them could echo in my ears like the way it used to do 5 years ago! I don't know what you think of me this past five years, it might have looked nice from far, but believe me when I say it was far from nice! Do you have any idea how it is to wake up forgiving the one person you loved, and falling asleep hating her even more than yesterday! I've spent this five years fucking stupid whores just because their hair or lips or skin reminded me of you! Hell I even slept with a girl named Suzuru so I COULD ACCIDENTALLY SHOUT YOUR NAME! DAMN IT! I NEVER WANTED THIS!You don't understand Shiz. I fucking loved you. I... I-I love you. I still love you with every cell in my body!'' And a sob came out of Natsuki's lips. Shizuru froze with Natsuki's confession. Her eyes widened, her hands shaking, her mouth open.

''Shizuru I...''

Shizuru saw the Raven crying, holding out one hand to reach her. That instant Shizuru let go of everything and ran to Natsuki, falling down on her knees and grabbing the delicate body with all force. She hugged the dark haired women as if she was trying to make two bodies one. Both bodies trembling, their souls finally finding peace.

''I only ever loved you idiot. I still love you with all my heart, even more than ever.'' She whispered, kissing Natsuki's arm, breathing in Natsuki's fast heartbeats.

''Shizuru... I... I'm... I'm sorry... I didn't knew. I thought- I thought you-''

''Hushh. Don't talk anymore... It's gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay.''

''Shizuru,'' The Raven raised her bloody emerald eyes up to meet with the crimson.

''I love you.'' with the last breath she held for strength, Natsuki fell on Shizuru's arms, crying like a 4 year old.

It is this single line that changed the history many times over the rule of human kind. It caused wars, it caused peace, it caused deaths, and it caused births. The only reason lovers put such importance to this line is because of the fact that even though it is the same line repeated over again over again for thousands of years without a single change, not one resembles another. Every lover whispers, utters, screams this very line with difference. A difference in emotion, a difference in memories, a difference in any way there ever is. Shizuru had dreamed for this day for way long time. But none of her dreams were this beautiful, this heart aching, this ecstatic. Now it was Shizuru's turn to cry like a baby. Even the people around them had tears in their eyes, some turned around to find a pair of camera lens. It was to good, too romantic to be true, this had to be a scene from the famous model's new movie. But whatever direction people looked there were no cameras in sight...

Natsuki held Shizuru strong while the chestnut beauty cried, sobbing like crazy. Her slim hands had clung to Natsuki's coat with all their force, afraid to let go. Natsuki stroke the chestnut hair, and kissed them, tears still pouring down, she inhaled the sweet aroma of Shizuru. She didn't care that they were in the middle of a dirty street. She didn't care that there were people around them clapping and yelling in joy. There was only two of them and nothing more. They were together, at last...

It was twenty minutes later, the couple slowly got a grip of their senses and logic back. They were in the middle of a street, hugging in front of thirty by-passers after all.

''Come on Shizuru, let's go... We still have many of your dreams to make come true remember? And we have all the time in the world now. We have each other now.'' Natsuki smiled, tightening her arms around Shizuru. The girl gave out a half crying- half laughing sound and nodded her head in response. They slowly got up, not letting go of each others hands...

There are no clearly defined rules between lovers. So, each side thinks they're playing fair and each side thinks they're being cheated. Maybe, this is why some lovers have the innate ability to bring out the poison in one another... But sometimes God gives us a free pass, a chance to take up on, a chance to mend the old wounds, and a chance to make new wounds; wounds from making love.

* * *

Natsuki parked her bike in her garage, as Shizuru hopped down. Shizuru shook off the dust from her clothes, and Natsuki reached for the fragile hands, holding it firmly. Shizuru blushed, Natsuki just smiled. And the two walked in to Natsuki's house. The Raven switched on the dim lights.

''This is not your house Natsuki.'' Shizuru was perplexed, she knew very well where the Raven lived and she had been dying of curiosity all through their ride when Natsuki made a left turn while she should have gone right.

''Umm. No one really knows this place. I bought it three years ago, get it cleaned everyday and stuff but haven't spent a night yet. I actually thought, I'd live here when...'' Natsuki was now a tomato face, which led Shizuru to give out a small laugh. Oh how she had missed this.

''When you find the love of your life?''

''Yeah...'' It was a faint reply from Natsuki due to her embarrassment. But she didn't care really, tonight she was going to let Shizuru see everything...

''Our knees are soaked and we look rather filthy. Would you like change?'' Natsuki asked warmly. Shizuru indeed wanted to change, cleanse of the dirt but she didn't want to let go of Natsuki.

''Of course I'll help you change... You didn't think I would leave you alone after five years did you?''

Shizuru blushed even more with this bold comment, and nodded her head in approval.

While Shizuru was occupied with her embarrassment and her ecstasy she failed to notice that Natsuki had taken a few steps and stood still, right in front of Shizuru with teary eyes.

''Natsuki whats wrong?'' the chestnut panicked.

''Nothing... It's just I never thought I'd have this chance, I never thought I would ever be in this close proximity with you. I'm probably the biggest idiot in this world. I should have-I should have asked for an explanation, but I didn't because I thought... I mean since I hadn't told you I loved you back then I thought you had no obligation to you know... Instead I just showed my fury-''

''There were times that I did in fact thought of you as cruel, there were days that I indeed hate you. But some things just don't always happen smooth, and love can sometimes be out shadowed. But even in my days of hatred, I knew the hate inside of me was only because I wasn't next to you. I wasn't next to my Natsuki... But now... I am...''

''Shizuru...''

It was those wine red eyes. It had the lust for passion, for comfort, for love, for serenity. It was only those crimson eyes that ever saw through her. It demanded, it militated, it tyrannized every cell in Natsuki's body and she was more than willing to surrender to them. All these years Natsuki had never touched a woman resembled of Shizuru's eyes, not that in any way she could resemble it to another. This five years had only thought Natsuki one thing; there is no other woman like Shizuru Fujino. And when she had thought she lost all her hopes here they were, the red she dreamed of every night, reflecting on her emerald ones.

Shizuru closed in, raised her hands and cupped Natsuki's face, it was still the same look, still the familiar outlines, still the perfectly proportioned pink lips Shizuru used to find her self daydreaming all through her high school...

It was not a soft romantic kiss as they both thought it would be. It was a kiss overdue many times, many days, many years. It had lust in it, longing in it, it had fierce of joy in it. It had giggles, and smiles. It had passion, it had craving. Their tongues time to time battling, time to time dancing in harmony.

They bumped and crashed every object on their way, not that there was a course of direction. They threw themselves from wall to wall, table to table, many expensive contemporary art smashing to celebrate their reunion. They touched each other, delicate and afraid in the first seconds, governing and ruling in the seconds. Shizuru's hair broke loose only to be embraced by Natsuki's face, and the Raven made sure every breath she inhaled was of that chestnut hair. The lack of same scent which had palsied her heart many years, had now given her it's beat back again. That years of longing and ache have been forgot in the fever of a minute. At one point when Natsuki's lips couldn't get enough of Shizuru's, her foot accidentally stepped on the remote control lying on the floor. They both jumped with the intrusion of loud music, then just laughed and went back to introducing their bodies to each other.

_Hello sweet pie  
I'm really glad that you could make it...  
I think we should get straight to business... _

Yes Boss by Hess is More's video lightened the dark mansion giving soft red surrounding. And the bass of the music only urged the need to touch in beat's harmony. Natsuki repeat the last line mimicking a manly figure. Shizuru gave out a laugh and kissed the adorning face in front of her. Shizuru slipped her hands under Natsuki's shirt while Natsuki's lips wandered down on Shizuru's neck, fitting perfectly to her clavicle. She sucked, she bit, she marked her territory... Shizuru gave out slow moans biting down on her lips, this was way too much for her body and her mind. The ecstatic sensations of Natsuki's lips vibrated her brain waves malfunctioning her thoughts. This was not a dream for sure but neither was it a reality. It was something in between.

Natsuki's head fell down to Shizuru's chest, resting on her sternum, they stood like that for couple minutes their eyes shut, Shizuru's hands holding on a tight grip around Natsuki's head and neck. Shizuru touched the silky smooth dark hair between her fingers. Natsuki smiled, opening her eyes and looking up once again to Shizuru, standing up.

''Show me what you got...'' Natsuki's eyes were grinning.

''It's all yours...'' Shizuru's were daring.

They had spoke in sync with the music smiling devilishly. Shizuru jumped on the Raven crossing her legs around the slim fit body in front of her, her arms around Natsuki's neck. She gave little pecks on her forehead, and her temples while received the same amount under her chin. Raven carried the girl to the close by black leather sectional sofa that spiraled through the whole salon, and while carrying Natsuki broke the final piece of vase standing.

''Ara Ara Natsuki I think you need to redecorate your brand new villa.'' she gave out a small laugh forcing Natsuki to go left with her arms, not wanting Raven to step on any sharp pieces.

''Well I always thought my taste had something missing in it. We'll decorate it together?'' Natsuki replied with a lovely honest smile. All Shizuru could do was to kiss those lips once more. And right when she was about to, Natsuki let go off the woman, Shizuru felt nothing but air under her.

''Haha!'' Natsuki laughed out to frightened Shizuru lying on her sofa. Then she slowly lied on top the chestnut.

''You look so beautiful when you're scared. I couldn't help myself.''

'' I'm not sure if I like this new Natsuki.'' Shizuru said with serious façade.

''Huh?!'' Natsuki jumped in panic and cursed herself when Shizuru laughed in return.

''Ara my Natsuki looks even better.'' Shizuru smiled devilishly and reached in for a kiss. While their lips were busy their hands decided to as well. Both reached for each other's shirts, lifting and from time to time ripping a few stitches. Natsuki felt a bare skin under her, and she shivered from spine to toe. She let her body feel every inch of the body under her, while Shizuru made it possible by snapping off both their bras. While kissing Natsuki noticed her dvd's remote control, she smiled from inside reached for it and pushed play blindly. Right then the screen as well as the song changed. It was a song by Emiliana Torrini.

_My heart is beating like a jungle druuumm!!!_

''Natsuki I know this song.''

''Remember it?''

''Not sure.''

''It was a karaoke night. That's all I'm gonna say.''

_Hey, I'm in love!  
My fingers keep on clicking to the beating of my heart. _

''Oh I know! It was the first night you got drunk!''

''Is that how you remember it? I always thought of it the first time I secretly screamed out my feelings.''

* * *

It was 5 years and 9 months ago when Natsuki Kuga with Shizuru Fujino besides the usual gang had gone out and had fun to their heart's content. Of course after a good meal Mai and Mikoto had forced everyone to go a Karaoke bar. And since Nao was not a karaoke person she had put forced alcohol consumption and two round of tequila shots in between every song among her terms of condition. All obeying had spent a quite delightful night. Natsuki had never left Shizuru's side which had taken the crimson eyed girl by surprise and delight. By the time everyone except Natsuki sang they were all very drunk. The raven not really in good terms with alcohol back then had already achieved a red face and a burning sensation inside of her to reach in and kiss the figure sitting next to her. Realizing she wasn't that drunk yet she had decided to sing a song and dedicate it to the one she loved. The moment she walked up and reached for the mic and started singing like a crazy monkey everybody had fallen on the ground from laughter. The always serious Natsuki Kuga image was now in pieces, her brows knit she was screaming at the top of her lungs.

_Man, you got me burning,  
I'm the moment between the striking and the fire.  
Hey, read my lips,  
Cause all they say is kiss, kiss, kiss. _

_My heart is beating like a jungle drum! TOK RON KUN KUN TAKA TAKA TAKA DUM!_

_My heart is beating like a jungle druuuu-!_

And with that Natsuki Kuga had passed out.

* * *

''Ahaha! Ara Natsuki you mean the ten seconds you shouted and then collapsed?''

''Still it was an intense ten seconds eh?'' Natsuki smiled like a child.

''Indeed.''

With the music playing loudly in the background the two gave their attention back to each other. Natsuki rose up a little to get a sight of Shizuru's chest, and the moment the scene revealed in front of her she was lost for words. She slowly reached in for the valley in between the wildest and purest mountains and kissed them slowly but passionately. Shizuru hold her breath, her hand tightening on the Raven's scalp. Natsuki's lips circled around Shizuru's left breast, slowly making it's way up, building a fireball in Shizuru's chest. Her arms snaked around Shizuru's waist, effectively bringing the blonde's body closer to her own while her lips now on a particular perky pink nipple. Shizuru let one of her hands clench the sofa's surface as she released a breathy noise, while her other hand hold a tighter grip of the Raven's hair. Natsuki's teeth grazed on the nipple and her tongue played around, her mouth sucking from time to time. Shizuru choked on her breaths, gushing out moans of no control what so ever, she needed to feel Natsuki more. She brought her legs around Natsuki's waist and pulled the slim body harder on to hers. Natsuki obeyed and her touches shifted from slow and delicate to a faster and stronger pace. Her body on top Shizuru's, one arm around the blond's body causing the chestnut to arch upwards to the Raven, her other arm now occupying Shizuru's right nipple circling it with pleasure. Her lips drifted south stopping on Shizuru's belly kissing ever inch sideways then repeating the same direction making sure there were no spots left unkissed. Her tongue licked Shizuru's sweat starting from the woman's abdomen down to her groin, which lead Shizuru to moan loudly. The chilled and piked skin Natsuki's lips felt caused more wetness on it's road making. Natsuki let go off the nipple she was holding and slowly stroke Shizuru's groin, her legs and her butt taking handful of every place her hand drifted. In few seconds with the intolerable desire to be taken away by Natsuki, Shizuru threw away her remaining clothes. When their eyes met, Natsuki could see the lust burning in Shizuru's eyes. Shizuru's smoldering gaze caused her breath to get caught in her throat. Natsuki quickly followed the wine red orders, stripping from every piece of cloth. Foreplay was officially over.

Natsuki's fingers trailed around the lips between Shizuru's legs, and the woman gave out a silent shout.

''I need to feel you inside of me.'' she said faint yet strong. Natsuki's fingers didn't leave their place but her head rose up to answer with a passionate kiss, her fingers now circling around in sync with the rocking motion of Shizuru's body. Natsuki bit hard on the lips entangled with hers as she filled Shizuru with two fingers. Shizuru choked as she felt her self being opened by two warm fingers, she could feel the obscene amount of wetness and warmth running between her legs. No one had ever made her this wet, and Natsuki felt this as well, grinning faintly. After all Natsuki was no position to comment, guessing from the amount her body was producing. Shizuru let out moans she never had and with every rocking motion the pitch was getting higher and higher. Natsuki pushed harder, all her force now concentrated on her two fingers. She could see Shizuru coming closer to climax which she didn't want to happen yet.

"Why did you stop?" This had to be the worst karma!

Natsuki just grinned as her head slowly headed south licking through her way. She stopped right between Shizuru's legs, shifted her body to a more comfortable position for the intrusion about to happen.

''Oh God I don't know if I can handle this!'' Shizuru said arching her body. Her chest a minute ago light as a feather, now felt like a whale sat on it. She couldn't breath, her eyes locked on a devilish emerald.

Natsuki's lips slowly sucked on the red in front of her, her lips tangled and played around, she drank the addictive warm aroma coming out. Finally without further torture her tongue starting circling the little spot with bundle of more nerves than any part of a woman's body. With that Shizuru's moans turned into shots of cries.

''Ahh Natsuki! Natsuki!''

It was that moment all through her life Natsuki felt most proud of herself. None of her academic or business or any kind of life achievements could resemble to hearing the one woman she loved crying out her name. She had to push the climax, so she took back the assistance of her fingers and filled Shizuru with a mind blowing sensation of an on going rocking motion by her hands and a contradicting motion with her tongue. She felt the huge sofa shake under her due to Shizuru's uncontrollable movements of pleasure. Natsuki wriggled her tongue down to Shizuru's core while her fingers kept their rocking motion at the same spot. With this Shizuru's buckled, her legs closed up on Natsuki without her control but Natsuki kept a firm grasp with her other hand which only made things even more intense for Shizuru. Natsuki became more fierce with her onslaught, each gasp and cry from Shizuru fueled her actions into a deeper ones, sending her further away from coherence with Shizuru's legs which were now closed shut on Natsuki's head suffocatingly. A strangled scream was heard as Shizuru threw her head back, her back arching even more against Natsuki's face and her hips grinding against. Natsuki fastened the pace with her fingers, loving the feel of Shizuru bucking her hips and squirming against her, reveling in her love's dangerously addictive essence. Shizuru let out a final scream as Natsuki hardened the intrusion and faintly bit on the small bundle of nerves which led Shizuru unable to escape from climax. Her body trembled from head to toe, her muscles cramped wildly. Natsuki continued to drink Shizuru's essence, prolonging the aftershocks of the orgasm until Shizuru lifted the Raven's head in a flash to plant a fierce kiss on the lips that had taken her to heaven.

''Natsuki that was... That was-''

''I love you Shizuru Fujino. In fact, I'm madly, crazy, in love with you. To the point of insanity. I don't want to spend a single day that doesn't have you in it.''

Shizuru was speechless. She cupped the hot red face in front of her and kissed it one more time, this time softly and passionately.

''Me too Natsuki... Me too.''

* * *

The rays of sunlight and the lack of warmth that was beside her all night caused Shizuru to open her eyes to find herself in a stranger room. She was lying on a king size western bed, she remembered the Raven carrying her bridal style and lying on the bed then surrounding her with her arms, placing her head on Shizuru's neck. Shizuru smiled then looked around her. Her smile was washed away instantly when her eyes couldn't find the figure they were looking for. As she was about to jump of the bed her eyes noticed a little red box lying in front of her feet. She reached for the little box perplexed, her eyes widened with shock. The box had the same dimensions and colors of a jewelry box that is known all around the world as ''the expected box after the expected popping of an infamous question.''

''It can't be.'' Shizuru's hands trembled, she slowly opened the box not looking inside, but her eye lids couldn't keep their shut, and when she opened her eyes Shizuru Fujino was more confused.

There lied a single, white pebble. It's ovality close to perfection, it's surface without a single scratch. Shizuru picked up the beautiful pebble and looked at it. She smiled warmly.

''When a male penguin is sweet on a female penguin, he searches the entire beach to find the perfect pebble to present to her.'' It was the voice Shizuru Fujino would burn down the world for. The Raven wearing only a white shirt and a pair of black briefs walked towards the chestnut haired girl, and kneeled down right in front of her, then she placed a single kiss on Shizuru's bare legs before continuing her speech.

''When he finally finds it, he waddles over and presents the stone by placing it at her feet. If she accepts, they'll be life-long mates... ''

She looked up at the crimson gaze, she had a naive and childish face, a little embarrassed of her childishly romantic side. Shizuru looked at the pebble once again and placed it in her palm, the placing her palm to her heart.

''I love you Natsuki Kuga...'' She smiled back like a little kid. Natsuki jumped on the girl in joy and the two wrestled under the sheets, kissing their bodies whenever they got a chance, laughing constantly...

''Come on let's have breakfast. I make awesome pancakes!'' Natsuki said in joy.

''Ara Ara how would I ever miss my Natsuki showing off her cooking skills...'' Shizuru smiled warmly as she hugged the Raven behind crossing her arms over Natsuki's neck.

''Alright! Here we go!'' and Natsuki rose up carrying Shizuru piggyback.

''I can even flip them high in the air you know!''

Shizuru laughed, tightened her grip, and placed a single kiss on her lover's cheek...


	11. Chapter 11

**I KNOW IT'S BEEN A WHILE-SORRY FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. I JUST FOUND TIME TO GET AROUND TO WRITE. THINGS WILL QUICKEN FROM NOW ON PROMISE. THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! ^^**

Earlier that day.

''Yo! Moshino how much do you love me?''

Moshino Takeshi, the chief editor of Japan's biggest media company had woken up that day feeling a little weird.

_Something is going to stir up today I can feel it. _Was his thoughts as he jumped to shower. Later that day, about an hour after he had arrived work a phone came, prooving of his intuitions.

''What's the dirt?'' Moshino asked with raised brows.

''Oh it's waaaay too good to be true- you'll shit to your pants- guaranteed.''

Moshino never liked the guy he was currently on the phone with, but on the other hand he would never question his tips of information, since they were always true.

''How much do you want?'' Moshino asked his second question.

''Well I'm thinking of taking a vacation to Los Angeles, so let's say 200,000?''

''Dollars?!'' Moshino exclaimed.

_What the hell did the president had an affair or something!_

''Indeed Moshino. Dollars indeed...''

As the conversation continued, Moshino's eyes widened, his jaw dropping down under gravity by the second. He finally let go of the phone, walked out to the main section and yelled on everyone;

''Everyone drop whatever the fuck you're doing! We have priority one and I wanted the whole dirt on my desk today! Cover topic is now changed, and I want the whole shit before any other magazine can! Takeda, track down Shizuru Fujino! Mashi, infiltrate into Natsuki Kuga's clubs! The only woman whom we never got a shot with her love intrest apparently had a whole dramatic love scene with that clubber playboy! And nobody cared to inform the magazines since apparently it was too good to be true and fucking idiotic people thought it was a movie scene! I want them both to be found! Shi! Shi! Shi get the fuck over here so the cover is ready to for the press by tonight!'' and with that Moshino Takeshi stormed back into his room with a small looking Shi behind him. Every photographer that occupied that floor a minute ago had already stormed out of the building racing to get the first shot. Only one of them took his time walking down. He had a cunning smile on his face since he was the only one where to find the alleged couple...

''How the hack do you turn on?'' Natsuki seized her French made luxury stove. She turned one handle to the right, creating a series of clicking sounds.

* * *

''Alright! We are on.'' she said with a joyous voice as the cast iron slowly warmed up. Shizuru was sitting on the nearby kitchen stool watching the Raven take over their breakfast in a very unintentionally sexy way. If somebody ever told her that in the near future she would have Natsuki Kuga prepare pancakes for her_-half naked_, she would have told that person to bugger off. But here it was the reality itself, she was sitting her legs crossed breathing in the scent of her lover from her tshirt, and watching the slim goddess act like a housewife. Well more like a little boy who walked in to his mother's kitchen for the first time but the scenery was delicious either way. Shizuru smiled, maybe this longing of 5 years wasn't all that bad after all.

''Oh Natsuki that was a double somersault!'' Shizuru praised her lover's successful flip of the pan.

''Told ya I was good.'' Natsuki grinned, showing off like a nine year old.

''Well can you do a three?''

''I can do thirty three, if I'm doing it for you.'' she winked. Right then on her second part of her show off, Natsuki tried on throwing the pancakes for a triple flip.

Flap. Four pieces of egg mixture now laid on the floor.

''Ara. There goes our breakfast...'' Shizuru started laughing, while Natsuki took her time in cursing the pan, and the eggs, and the chickens that laid those eggs.

The second try was a success, and Natsuki went over board when she forced Shizuru to try every piece of jam, syrup and chocolate with her pancakes. Shizuru was overwhelmed with the way Natsuki so childishly forced every bite to Shizuru's mouth _with her own hands._

''And this bite with berry jam? Or maybe peanut butter? Oh Honey!'' Natsuki exclaimed, finding the right answer in her mind she reached for the honey jar.

''Natsuki my taste buds are numb.'' Shizuru put a sad puppy face, sticking out her colored tongue.

''Sorry...'' came a faint reply. The raven pouted ever so adorably.

''Well, I think I know a way we can refresh my taste buds.'' Shizuru, sly as a fox, pulled Natsuki from her shirt, almost causing the Raven to fall from her stool, and took a passinote kiss.

''Hmm. Yes I think it's working.'' Shizuru said with a wicked smile, her eyes closed, licking her mouth.

''You taste like fuit punch.'' Natsuki grinned sheepishly and pulled the chestnut in for another kiss. So the breakfast session ended and the two found themselves blessing their kitchen grounds by making out.

''Ouch! Ouch Ouch Aoow...'' Natsuki pulled her right foot to find a single red ceramic piece sticking out from her toe.

''Natsuki are you okey?'' a pair of panicked rubies asked.

''It seems my Spanish vase is out to get me for the last night's destruction.'' Natsuki just smiled.

''We made a mess didn't we.'' Both looked around the messy floor under them.

''Shizuru we're talking about you and me, the two most destructive people on earth. Adding five years of longing to the equation I'm surprised we didn't burn down the house to the ashes.'' The Raven smiled, letting go of her foot and wrapping her arms around her lover's back.

''Ara, at one point I was sure my body was about to produce substantial amount of thermal energy to burn the whole universe.'' Shizuru purred at Natsuki's ear and then nibbled the Raven's ear lobe causing Natsuki goosebumps.

An hour later both women were lying down leisurely on the Kuga Villa garden. Sun light shone upon them as the pool nearby created a serene low melody. Natsuki was reading her favorite magazine, the one with the ever so detailed information on engines, and tires, and whatever else motorbikes possessed while Shizuru held the gossip section of the daily news.

''Ara Natsuki isn't this Midori?'' the half naked chestnut showed a picture of a sexy flame haired women caught in her vacation at Bali.

''Let me see... Heck! Bali! I swear that woman enjoys life more than any.''

Natsuki repositioned herself, she was now lying on top of Shizuru, their bodies making a cross sign. She stopped highlighting the sections of her magazine and decided to put her marker into better use.

''Natsuki what are you doing?'' a pair of quizzical rubies tried to turn to emerald, brows raised.

''Hold still.''

''I swear I'll bite hard pup if you dare to draw something stupid.'' Shizuru said in a contradicting way to her usual cool Kyoto ben.

A mischevious laugh was all that Shizuru recieved. The raven's hands slipped down the chestnut's underwear creating enough space for her masterpiece.

''Ta-da! I should have become a tattoo artist.'' emerald proud of her work, glimmered in joy.

Shizuru leaned back in an awkward position to see what was written on her butt. There stood a hand written sign of four words; PROPERTEY OF NATSUKI KUGA.

''Honey, you should consider taking grammar lessons before becoming one.'' a little series of laughter escaped from the pink lips of Shizuru Fujino.

Natsuki looked to see what was wrong. Obviously the mistake couldn't be her name so she decided it was the first word that held a grammar mistake.

''Only if you'll be my teacher...'' Raven said playfully as she crossed out the extra E.

''Ara, am I hearing wrong or has my Natsuki just shared a fantasy?'' there was a playful smile accompanying the sexy Kyoto ben.

''Oh you heard right sensei.'' and the Raven kissed the sign she created and decided to tickle the girl under her, after all ever single minute passed with Shizuru Fujino was all Natsuki Kuga ever fantasized about.

Right then both women caught a little noise by the bushes. And then a click sound.

''Shit!'' Natsuki rose up to her feet in an instant and started running towards the sound.

''This is my property you asshole! I'll fucking kill you before you can even say cheese!''

A figure jumped out of the bushes and made a run for his life. He was a paparazzi photographer.

_Oh god. Not this fast. _Shizuru thought to herself. She at least wanted to spend a couple days alone with Natsuki before her war with the media began. She knew the steps very well, and she knew well her managers would do everything in their force to keep the two of them apart. It would not look good, not when the release of her movie was just around the corner.

Natsuki sprinted but failed to catch the trouble maker. She let out a sigh and looked back to find a thinking Shizuru sitting in her yard.

_God she looks so perfect. So fitting. _Her whole life would be picture perfect if she could spend her days looking at the image of a Shizuru sitting in her lawn. But Natsuki had an awkward feeling, an uneasiness as if trouble was arising in the horizon. She was right...

She walked towards the distant rubies and held out her hand. Shizuru got out of her thinking realm and looked up to find a smiling emerald.

''So soon.'' she muttered.

''Well actually I was surprised we even made it to the house yesterday.'' emerald smiled once again, her hand holding a delicate pair.

''They better write it good.'' Shizuru smirked.

''Huh?'' Natsuki gave out a confused looked and Shizuru enjoyed every millisecond of that look.

''I don't want to be seen as one of your conquests, the playboy of Japan...'' she made a pouting face as Natsuki turned red. She didn't know how to respond but to turn into a tomato.

Shizuru gave a small laugh at the scene folding in front of her. As the shade of Natsuki darkened the laughter became stronger.

Yes indeed Shizuru was laughing but Natsuki could sense the jealousy and irritation as well. She held the brunette from her waist looked deep into the rubies which showed it's insecurity more and more by the second and pulled her into a hug.

''Then maybe we should tell them. Or better yet perhaps show them?'' Natsuki purred to Shizuru's ear and the woman shuddered.

''Show them what?'' she replied faintly.

''Just how serious we are.''

* * *

The two made back into the villa their mouths attached to each other. They didn't even feel the urge to stop for oxygen. Afterall who the hell needs oxygen when they can inhale their lover.

''Mr Takeshi sir?'' a young boy asked with fear in his voice.

''What?!'' the man spat.

''Umm... Neither Natsuki Kuga or Ms. Fujino can be found sir. We bribed the hotel receptionist and he said she never came last night.''

''Well ofcourse she isn't gonna come! She maybe an actress but she is certainly not stupid! I don't care if they went to the end of the world or if they were was abducted by leprechauns and whacked over the head with their shillelagh sticks! Just find her!'' blooded face yelled.

A figure walked into Moshino's luxury office silently.

''Yo Takeshi! I got what you want...'' a man whose clothes were ripped apart gave a smirk to his boss.

''Well then let's talk about your raise shall we...'' Moshino's eyes shined so bright, his face holding onto an evil grin.

* * *

''Anoo... Shizuru does your cell phone screen shows an abnormality?'' Natsuki Kuga looked at her cell screen with amazement and shock reflecting from her eyes.

''What's wrong Natsuki?''

''Just check your cell phone. Has it rang?''

''It was on vibration.''

''I think things got public.''

Shizuru walked to her cell phone lying on the ground like many other object. She lifted her screen to find 47 missed call.

''Ara...''

She pushed the little button to see the callers. 27 from Haruka, 13 from Nao, 2 from Midori which was a surprise, and 5 from Mai.

''Ara... There is a text from Haruka demanding an explanation. Apparently we're on the news.''

''The news?!''

The raven reached for the remote control and both women sat on the couch as the colors became apparent from the screen. Natsuki looked sideways to find a worried looking Shizuru. She took her arm and caressed Shizuru's waist, she smiled when she saw the instant relaxation on Shizuru's face. Silently they watched as every channel on Japan aired their faces.

* * *

On the other side of the city a vase smashed into the wall. A pair of angry saturated blue was locked on the tv screen.

''You will pay Kuga. I swear you will...''

And then the figure grabbed the television, and threw it out of the hotel window.

Fortunately the flying television hit no one, but it attracted many by passers as they turned to look at the top floor of the prestiguous hotel with wide eyes.

* * *

''Natsuki please slow down or I'm gonna pop a lung.'' The helmet couldn't hide the widened ruby eyes.

Natsuki just blushed and decreased her speed, she actually liked when Shizuru's grip tightened with the speed.

After much due Shizuru and Natsuki arrived at Haruka's office in downtown.

''Shizuru Fujino!!''

Knowing full well she was about to be scolded -something she absolutely can't take at the moment- Shizuru decided to give a cold look at the blond woman, as if to say make it quick.

''Woman! Don't look at me in that tone of voice!''

That sentence was wrong in so many ways, but it fitted Haruka Suzushiro perfectly.

'' This whole project is worth about 16 million in profits! And what do you do?! You run around trying to get inside Japan's biggest playboy's pants! There are more painless ways to kill me Bubuzuke!'' Haruka yelled at her friend with a red face.  
Natsuki shrugged at the playboy comment but leaned towards Shizuru's ear, the chestnut leaned as well to hear what her lover was whispering.

'' No offense, but I think it's *immoral* for one person to acquire that much wealth. How do you sleep at night?''

''Ara, I have a machine that simulates the sound of the ocean.''  
''Do those really work?'' asked the emerald with genuine curiosity.  
''Oh, yes, quite well actually. '' God she loved her gullible Natsuki. So very much.

_You make it impossible for me not to love you._

''Okey Shizuru let's talk strategy, both of you sit down!''

Both lovers sat down with amused smiles on their faces, their hands clinging onto each other, unaware of their future. Knowing only one fact; they have each other now.

But is that enough?


	12. Chapter 12

**Dont kill me. I know long time. And actually I had forgotten all about the story ( I'm a graphic designer student and let me tell you it's chaos this semester) anyways when a review from Alicelane came today I was reminded once again- so you can give the thank you's to her :)**

**I know its short... But guess what the next chapter is due this week! **

**CHAPTER 12 - SPIDER  
**

''Natsuki?'' Shizuru turned to her object of affection with sorrow in her eyes.

''What is it Shizuru?'' the raven looked in question. They were right beside Natsuki's bike, coming out of Haruka's wrath, feeling rather tired.

''I wont be able to come with you tonight...'' averting her gaze.

''What do you mean? Whats wrong?'' Panic flickered in the emerald orbs.

''Nothing Natsuki. Nothing is wrong. Everything is rather way too good and that is the problem don't you think?'' she looked back up and Natsuki didn't like what she saw one bit; guilt.

''No I don't.'' her reply was curt.

''I..I have to talk with Nao, Natsuki.'' and said no more while dropped her head in silence waiting for a harsh response from her Natsuki that never came.

''I understand.'' the blunette also dropped her head. She didn't know how else to reply.

''You do?'' Now it was Shizuru's time to be shocked.

''You didn't expect me to believe you spent all these years without committing to anybody did you? Heh..'' the raven tried on a half smile that was pretty unsuccessful.

''It wasn't like that-I mean it wasn't a commitment the way to th-''

''I know that as well. '' this time though a genuine smile formed successfully.

The raven lifted the brunette's chin and looked deeply in the burgundy red.

''Go. But come back quick.''

''I will.''

Their lips locked to seal their promise. Natsuki watched as her girlfriend hail a cab and disappear into the night.

Natsuki let out a sigh. She knew very well of Nao, in fact past three days she had been dreading this moment. She really wanted Shizuru to herself, not because Shizuru would do something to make her worry, but because the world seemed rather too fragile for Natsuki. As if everything was about to crash into million pieces, waiting silently for the first move of the butterfly effect. For the first time her life was complete, she was living the life she always dreamt of and a tiny voice inside kept chanting the happy ending wouldn't come this easy. Yes, sure 5 years was a long que for a happy ending but there was something else that smoldered the uneasiness in Natsuki Kuga.

''Oi Mai what are you up to?''

''Nothing Na-chan why?''

''Do you wanna go grab a coffee? I can pick you up or sent for a car.''

''Show off!'' a short laughter came out of the raven's cellphone.

''Phumf.''

''Come and pick me up. I wished to talk with you too.''

''10 min.''

* * *

And so Natuski and her close friend Mai Tokiha met at a little French café and Natsuki filled her friend with everything, no detail missed.

''I feel as if everything this is way too good. As if I'm going to loose Shizuru.. again.''

''Now, that might be the silliest thing you've said yet, and I've heard you say some pretty dumb things.''

''I'm serious Mai. Shizuru is off talking to Nao right now...''

''Oww... So I see... Well you know I'm at your side, I've always rooted for you and Shizuru's reunion more than anyone, but I believe those two really do need to have a conversation.''

''Huh? What makes you come to that conclusion?'' the raven arched one of her brows in question.

''Please Natsuki, lets let go off your high school lover jealousy and approach with some objectivity shall we?''

''I know, I know! But what exactly is there to talk about. I mean what could possibly be the topic of their conversation. Nao already knows, right? So?''

''Natsuki, there is something I should tell you... And you should listen carefully... About a year ago, I had a phone call and the screen flashed Nao's name. When I picked up, our so called arrogant spider was crying her guts out. So much that I couldn't understand what she was saying, and for a second I thought Shizuru was hospitalized or something. Anyways later I picked her up from some shabby street with only her jeans and a shirt on- no shoes. And may I add that it was raining like hell broke loose on earth and heaven had to extinguish. She told me she had to leave the house, the house being Shizuru's penthouse of course. Later we went over to my house and she stayed there for two weeks. You were gone to America with that top model A'dee that time, so you didn't know. Well the thing is, I didn't know what was going on for the first 4 days cuz she didn't mutter a single word except to say 'don't tell Shizuru.' And I complied. I took care of her. The girl was a mess. After she came back to her old self she start talking about her relationship with Shizuru...''

The aura surrounding the table literally heaved all off a sudden and Natsuki dedicated all her attention to Mai's lips for the upcoming words.

''Would you tell me what she said?'' she asked somewhat like a child's curiosity.

''I promised not to but under these circumstances I believe I should. As you know we were all shocked when Shizuru turned back with Nao by her side. None of us really expected it. Hell they hated each other for God's sake! And apparently it did start off as a hate relationship, and that was what bonded them. Shizuru spend every single day mourning after you, and in some sadistic way Nao decided to play with this. She confessed that at first, seeing Shizuru in pain was a delight no other thing could give and that was exactly why she kept herself around Shizuru. She was happy to see the girl unhappy and lost. And whenever she would gather herself together Nao would be there to remind her off you and shatter her to million pieces once again...'' she paused and looked down at her now cold coffee.

''That bitch!'' the raven hissed as she felt her knuckles go white.

''Hold your horses.'' was the curt reply from her orange head friend. She looked back up to the emeralds and Natsuki was surprised with the ever so serious face looking back at her.

''You see after a while which was I guess actually pretty long, Nao realized she no longer cared for the fulfillment of her revenge and realized more and more she found herself playing the role she dreaded the most; a friend. She found herself trying to make the brunette smile rather than cry but if she could not stop her tears then she was determined to be the shoulder those tears stained. And on one specific night, where A'dee and you were broadcast in every station as the hottest couple of fashion week in Paris, Nao found herself cradling a broken Shizuru and silently crying herself as well... From what she said, it happened that day. The day she fell for her once arc enemy... Apparently their physical relationship also started that night, but it was the only night that it was somewhat sweet. In the morning Shizuru put some ground rules that were not spoken but felt as the days passed.'' she paused again.

''I see...'' Natsuki didn't want her friend to stop. Apparently Mai knew many years that were a mystery to Natsuki and she wanted to learn it all, even if it meant a physical pain accelerating with every word.

''No you don't. You haven't understood how Nao felt and I'm afraid for your brain to register somethings clearly I will have to go into some details and graphics which were so shaking that I remember her words as vivid as this day. Do you think you can handle it?'' her eyes had worry, compassion and seriousness in them.

''Yes Mai. Please, I know I talk all arrogant and pissed near her but I'm glad she took care of Shizuru in more ways that I'm not pleased about but glad nonetheless.''

''Well, this is her exact words that I'm citing. And do know that her mental state was far from stable as she was yelling one second and whispering the next.. This is how Shizuru was in Nao's eyes;

Shizuru! What can I say? Who made her? God must have been a fuckin' genius. The hair... They say the hair is everything, you know. Have you ever buried your nose in a mountain of curls... just wanted to go to sleep forever, sweet slumber in the valley of lilacs? Or lips... as innocent as they may seem, deadliest poison for the man for you could sell your soul to be the single breath she inhales... and when they touched, yours were like... that first swallow of wine... after you just crossed the desert. Her breasts... That perfect circle of pink on the top staring right out at ya, like secret searchlights. Her legs. Greek columns... And what's between 'em... passport to heaven... But then you stop and look at her eyes... Bam! You're done for! And you know why?! Not because you loose yourself in the burgundy pool- but because of the illusion! You see yourself in the reflection, your own eyes... but then you stop and say to yourself... my eyes were never this shade of green... these are not my eyes... and you know. You remember. Those eyes! They belong to another one. The one that forever holds the woman you desperately fell in love for. You are strike with a love you can never admit to the flesh and bone standing in front of you! Why?!- because you'll loose her! Because she doesn't want to belong to anybody! Sure probably if I persisted and went after her she would have surrendered and I'd be living rest of my life with a surrogate of Fujino Shizuru... ...the beautiful illiusion... and you know what Mai? You know the most pathetic part of it all? ...i would be happy... and for a while she would be happy... and that dream would come crashing down the minute she saw Natsuki, face to face... and you may say that doesn't seem like it will ever happen... but Mai... we're nothing but props in this play of Romeo and Juliet... even if it means in death they will be side by side one day... and now i know i did the right thing... we're back here aren't we? Only a matter of time i tell ya. So I played the welch for her... you know what they say; When in doubt... fuck! Hahaha! ....and so I am officially her fuckbuddy, stress ball, fucking shelter and i'm broken... i can't hold this act anymore... tell me what to do Mai... please...''

There was a long silence after. Neither dared to talk. Natsuki let out the breath she had been holding for the past minute, and didn't know what to do when Mai looked deeply into her eyes, so she averted her own to look at the outside. Then she broke the silence,

''What did you tell her?''

''I told her to get away... That she was destroying herself... But then she went into another frenzy and cried and threw me out of the room... Didn't eat anything for two days and didn't let me in the room. Two days later she came out of the room as if nothing had happened. She was smiling, a sly one. She laughed and told me;

''And my greatest act starts from this day on Mai. Watch and learn well, since you're the only one who knows the real face when the curtain falls.''

''And then she left with a little kiss on my cheek and a thank you. From that day on we never talked about it, acted as if those two weeks never existed and I watched her perform her greatest act indeed. For every night with Shizuru, she spent countless strangers to stable herself. Did she succeed? I don't know. It is indeed her greatest act and I only saw the face from the little break in the show, but the curtain hasn't fell off completely right?''

''I have a feeling it will tonight...''

And both friends averted their gazes once again to the streets...


	13. Chapter 13

**NEW CHAPTER UP! Thank you for all the reviews and messages! So things are unfolding one by one but... the real trouble hasn't showed up yet. **

**I would especially would like to thank those that has been following from the start, thank you so much for sticking guys, sorry things progressed slowly :) **

**

* * *

  
**

''Where are you? I want to speak with you...'' Shizuru was inside the cab which was for the moment driving aimlessly through the city. The night had fallen rather beautifully. Stars were watching down the earth, and the tiny creatures that occupied it. Every story unfolding in front of them so delicate and beautiful because it was mortal and would end in the blink of an eye.

A laugh was heard from the other side of the line.

''Why? Bored with your Snowqueen Sugar so soon?''

This was good, Shizuru thought. Nao was in her usual mood. Or at least it sounded like so...

''Ara... It's Snowflake. How come you always get that wrong? ''

''Because it's not important for me to get it right.''

''Touché. Can I see you? Where are you?''

''Where I was for the past years Shizuru. Shouldn't be so hard, since that was where you spent your miserable days as well ne? Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders one wise man said, indeed he was right. Though I shouldn't be surprised. Did your ephemeral ecstasy gave you a short term memory loss, want me to text you the address? Oh whatever.. just look for the highest hotel in town and then take the top floor on the elevator.''

''I didn't forget a single thing. Stay put, I'll be there in ten minutes.''

''Well this will be a first... me opening the door for you...''

''Just stay there Nao.''

''Sure.''

* * *

''Would you like me to spread my legs here or do you wish for me to assume another position?''

''Stop it Nao.''

No. She was not in a good mood. Shizuru looked around the desolate room that was dimly lit by the city lights. Nao was sitting on the table her light green eyes piercing through Shizuru. She didn't know how to approach the girl. Nao had aways been there for her, she was the only person in Shizuru's life aside from Natsuki. No way in hell did she plan of loosing her, only friend...

''So how was it? Does it match with what you dreamt for the past five years? Is she everything you dreamed of? Or better yet don't answer. I don't think my stomach can stabilize itself and I sure wouldn't want to gag on our carpet.'' she acted as if she was about to throw up and then smiled, averted her gaze and fast yet elegantly threw herself off the table, now standing on the other side of the room close to the windows.

''Nao. You know me better than anybody else in this world-''

''Yes. Even better than her even. That's the irony.'' the red head cut her short. Her insides were boiling. Tonight was the night. Tonight Nao was going to break loose.

''I thought we had a deal.'' crimson eyes retorted.

''I welched. I'm a welcher. Didn't I tell you? ''

''No, what you told me was, we would forever be friends... in ups and downs... and take care of each other till one does not need so.''

''I lied. '' the red head shrugged.

''Ara, well you could've fooled me. ''

''And I did. ''

A pause.

''Tell me Shizuru why are you doing this?'' a single brow was raised.

''What am I doing?'' Shizuru asked genuinely. Something was off. Of course she expected some hostility since Nao did hate Natsuki but there was something else and Shizuru had just began to feel it.

''This. You already have her. Your lifetime desire, hope... It's achieved. You don't need to explain me anything... Both of us knew this day would come. Sure you hoped, I dreaded but still that doesn't change the fact that whatever bond we have- sorry, had- is gone now. We were we because we were incomplete. And now that's not the case.''

''What will complete you?'' Shizuru asked quickly.

''Huh?'' Nao was taken aback.

''You said we were we because we were incomplete. What is missing in yours?'' now it was the latter's turn to raise a brow.

''Hah... Well, that my dear is somewhat more complicated. You see, you lived with the chance of your dreams coming true... and as long as you lived, mine would never come true.'' the smile never left Nao's face but Shizuru knew well the women in front of her felt nothing of a happiness.

''So you wish I were dead? Is that it? You certainly had many chance to fulfill your dream, and I certainly was in no shape to object. What stopped you?''

''...Because the moment I took your life... mine would loose it's meaning as well. And having a meaning however pathetic it may be is much better than not having one.''

At that moment Nao turned her back to stare out to the city, while Shizuru's crimson orbs widened with the revelation.

''Why didn't you ever tell me?'' Shizuru began to understand... A pang of guilt and pain stammered her chest. How could she be so blind.

''Why, would you come running to my arms Shizuru? Would you?'' Nao shifted her head to look at the brunette but her body stayed put.

''You know that I couldn't...'' she shook her head sideways under the intense green gaze.

''Then why should I have told you?'' the voice was calm. Just like the silence before thunderstorm.

''Because... Because she might be the one holding my heart, but you'll always be the one I trust the most, the only one who knew the worst in me, and accepted me as I am.'' The two woman stood locking eyes. Neither moved for couple moments, neither averted their gaze, until Nao broke contact and started walking towards the blond.

''Tell me, does she accept you Shizuru? The full you? But I guess she doesn't have to. She is worse than you anyways. Perhaps I should ask, do you accept her? Knowing she fucked hundreds. Knowing she hated you for five years. Knowing... Pretty fucking well you'll never have the trust you're talking about! Lovers like you only play Shizuru. You fucking act and play, one never shows their true face exactly because they are in love! They say 'I'm a better person with you!' Lies! Lovers are, just a mess of sadness and phobias covered in whip cream with a cherry on top. Nobody ever becomes a better person, they just master the art of acting to each other, to themselves without even realizing. And that my love, is why people say love is blind. With all the masks and phony acts even one does not realize, how can you see the person in front of you?'' there was a sly smile on the red head's face which didn't go unnoticed by the crimson.

''You're wrong.'' It was short. It was stern.

''I'm wrong? How so? Tell me haven't you already started acting like nothing has ever happened. As if this past five years had been erased to no importance and life just begun the moment you held each other? Aren't you going to act as if you didn't drown in misery and committed sins for the past five years? Isn't she going to erase all other women and anger in her life, working unconsciously never to submerge those feelings ever again? Isn't it lying Shizuru? Smiling for the one you cried for so long and perhaps to never cry again because you do not want to loose her?''

That was it. Shizuru might have been blind in noticing her friend's true feelings but Nao hadn't been all seeing either. How could she possibly think like this when she, herself was the one that changed everything in Shizuru.

''You are wrong Nao!'' The read head was taken aback by the force and intensity of the crimson in front of her.

'' And perhaps the belief you hold today is my fault. Yes it is true that I hold a mask to the outer world and the person you fell in love for was nothing but a mask, at first. And funny it may seem I owe everything to you. I am no child. I no longer dream for a happy ending, a prince charming. And you are right. If Natsuki were mine five years ago, I would as you said, act. I would suppress any feelings that would jeopardize my relationship with her. I would do anything to make her happy and consequently change into a person I, myself, won't recognize. I was miserable, lost, desperate and then you came into my life. I knew well the only reason you were with me at first was because you loved to see me suffer. You wanted to see me in despair. And you know what my sadistic self said? It said well at least I can make one person happy. But that changed didn't it Nao? I truly didn't know your inner feelings for you're a great actress yourself. But what I knew was the fact that you no longer wanted to see me cry. You were the one that gave me strength to scream to the world go fuck yourselves! You gave me the courage to face Natsuki. Facing her as the real me, without doubts without being scared without acts-''

Shizuru couldn't continue when a pair of lips crushed on her own. She looked at the face in front of her, so beautiful, so crushed, so wet from the tears streaming down. She closed her eyes and let the woman hold her as if her life depended on it. Her own arms found their way around the warm body, stroking the delicate trembling back. Shizuru kissed the red hair in front of her, with genuine feelings. One side pouring the love it held so long and the other receiving in gratitude.

Lips departed, foreheads collided, Nao looked up, her tears slowing down.

''Loving you was the greatest feeling I ever had... Followed abruptly by the worst feeling I ever had.''

''I'm sorry. Truly.'' and then she landed a small kiss on the bridge of the read head's nose. The other closed her eyes, yet smiled.

''I hate you Shizuru Fujino. Go find yourself a nice antique rocking chair to die in.''

''Ara.. I'll make sure to save you a seat next to me.'' Both let out a small laughter.

''Just promise me something?'' Light green orbs showed themselves once again.

''Anything Nao...''

''Don't act to her. And don't ever let her act to you. And don't ever be like couples we saw in restaurants okay? The ones we always joked about... The dining dead.'' a small smiled appeared on both faces.

''I won't.''

''And don't you dare forget me.''

''Now that's not even possible. I do love you Nao, and I do not want to loose you.''

''You already know you won't. We'll be okay... We'll definitely be okay.''

''As long as you'll be by my side I know I will. I do need a true friend to tell me the ugly truths you know.''

''And one that enjoys while telling you so?''

''You can't fool me anymore Yuuki. Stop playing the villain already.''

''See I knew I shouldn't tell you my feelings. No matter what I do now, I'll be perceived as a softie won't I?''

''To tell you the truth all your though acts and stuff, I never really believed it once.''

''Oh great lord! If you tell a soul Shizuru! I swear-''

''Hai hai, you're secret is safe with me.''

''Do get lost now will you.''

''Will do so. Dinner tomorrow?''

''What about the snowflake?''

''Ara, the right nickname. She is my girlfriend but you're my best friend. So what do you say?''

''Better choose an expensive one! I'm a high-maintenance girl Fujino.''

''Oh how could I ever forget that... See you tomorrow, I'll give you a call.''

''Fine.''

And with that Shizuru left the hotel room. Nao walked to the light switch and turned it on. She had left the room in dark on purpose, her mind thought it looked more serious, more angst. She smiled to herself.

''You've watched too many gangster movies Yuuki.'' and then she looked back to the door the blond just walked out of. She placed her fingers on her lips.

''She walked out of your life Yuuki... into a better one... but into a better one with you. Phmff..Talk about falling for the wrong woman.'' She walked towards her cell phone, not letting go of her smile and punched a few numbers.

''Hey, I'm really sorry to disturb you at this hour. But would you perhaps like to meet me for a drink?''

her eyes widened. She smiled and hang up after couple of minutes. Even she couldn't recognize her own voice, this softness was lost or more like new to her. She smiled again, reached for her purse and walked to the door, glanced back once again,

''Good memories, good memories indeed... but better ones from now on.''

And she shut the door, walked out of the hotel.

The room stayed vacant for the next 4 weeks, until Nao and Shizuru came over one day to grab their stuff out. It was a sunny Sunday, Natsuki was waiting in the car impatiently and Nao made sure to irritate her furthermore before leaving the vehicle with Shizuru...


End file.
